Friday, September 26, 2014

Pics Of The Day: Blow Job (Safe For Work)

I wonder if he used a leaf blower. Weird stuff from photographer Tadao Cern.



More here and here.

News: Rhode Island Man Arrested For DUI Four Times Over 30-Hour Period

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Rhode Island Man Arrested For DUI Four Times Over 30-Hour Period

A Rhode Island man was arrested four separate times in 30 hours for drunk driving, an unmatched criminal feat he accomplished while behind the wheel of four different vehicles, according to police.

John Lourenco, 53, was first arrested last Sunday afternoon when he crashed his Dodge pickup truck into an SUV carrying two children (both of whom were treated and released from a Providence hospital).

Lourenco’s next three busts occurred in Cumberland, the town outside Providence where he resides.

At 7:15 Monday morning, Lourenco--driving a Chevrolet Malibu--rear-ended another vehicle. Lourenco was subsequently arrested after his blood alcohol content was measured at .22, nearly three times the legal limit.

He was later given a court summons and released into the custody of his 79-year-old father, Cumberland cops report.

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Drawings Of The Day: Jimmy The Bull Terrier

From Bored Panda:
When Brazilian illustrator Rafael Mantesso divorced with his ex-wife, she took all of the furniture with her, leaving behind an empty house with white walls. All he had was Jimmy Choo, his bull terrier. Mantesso started painting and drawing again, which is when his buddy Jimmy lent him a paw by posing for some silly illustrations.


(more here)

Rant Of The Day: It's Decorative Gourd Season, Motherf**kers!

From Colin Nissan and McSweeney's.


It's Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers!

By Colin Nissan

I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait to get my hands on some fucking gourds and arrange them in a horn-shaped basket on my dining room table. That shit is going to look so seasonal. I’m about to head up to the attic right now to find that wicker fucker, dust it off, and jam it with an insanely ornate assortment of shellacked vegetables. When my guests come over it’s gonna be like, BLAMMO!

Check out my shellacked decorative vegetables, assholes. Guess what season it is—fucking FALL. There’s a nip in the air and my house is full of mutant fucking squash.

I may even throw some multi-colored leaves into the mix, all haphazard like a crisp October breeze just blew through and fucked that shit up. Then I’m going to get to work on making a beautiful fucking gourd necklace for myself. People are going to be like, “Aren’t those gourds straining your neck?” And I’m just going to thread another gourd onto my necklace without breaking their gaze and quietly reply, “It’s fall, fuckfaces. You’re either ready to reap this freaky-assed harvest or you’re not.”


(Continued here)

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