Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Report: Lake Ice Grows Safer To Venture Out On With Each Beer Consumed

From The Onion.
Report: Lake Ice Grows Safer To Venture Out On With Each Beer Consumed

Jan. 20, 2014

MINNEAPOLIS—According to a report released Monday by researchers at the University of Minnesota, the layer of ice atop frozen lakes grows incrementally thicker and safer to venture out onto with each beer that an individual consumes.

“While the surface ice covering a lake may pose a very real hazard of collapsing under the weight of a sober subject, we discovered that this same ice becomes progressively more sturdy with each 12-ounce can of beer that a subject puts back,” said lead researcher Robert Piper, noting that the ice sheets atop lakes, as well as large ponds and certain rivers, could be rendered virtually impervious to cracking beneath a fully grown man provided he has consumed four or more tallboys, regardless of temperature or weather conditions.

“Our data clearly show that by collectively finishing a 24-pack of Keystone, Budweiser, or similar American-style lager, ice becomes so safe and stable that a whole group of buddies can walk out onto the lake as far as they want.

In fact, you can go ahead and drive a fully loaded truck right on out there, no problem, as long as you and the boys drain a pony keg and the last of the Jack.”

Piper went on to confirm that, even in the highly improbable event that someone who has drunk a sufficient number of beers does happen to fall through the ice, the consumption of such beverages simultaneously heats the frigid subsurface lake water to a temperature at which one can be fully immersed for minutes at a time without any risk of hypothermia.

Things You Probably Didn't Know About Disney Parks (Of The Day)

Cool info from Buzzfeed.
There are tunnels under Disney World that allow employees and cast members to move between the different areas.

There are thousands of hidden Mickey Mouse heads throughout Disney World and the surrounding resorts.

Despite the fact that it’s illegal, several people attempt to spread the ashes of the deceased on Disney rides every year.

Devices called Smellitizers can be found all over Disney parks, and emit scents in certain areas to match the surroundings.
There’s actually a secret suite inside Cinderella’s castle. It cannot be booked, and is only used for promotional giveaways.

Fourteen of the opening day attractions in the Magic Kingdom are still running: “Country Bear Jamboree,” “Dumbo the Flying Elephant,” “Frontierland Shootin’ Arcade,” “Jungle Cruise,” “Mad Tea Party,” “Peter Pan’s Flight,” “Prince Charming Regal Carrousel,” “Swiss Family Treehouse,” “The Hall of Presidents,” “The Haunted Mansion,” “Tomorrowland Speedway,” “Walt Disney World Railroad,” “Walt Disney’s Enchanted Tiki Room,” and “It’s a Small World.”

The “Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh” attraction replaced the “Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride” attraction, and you can see a painting or Mr. Toad handing the deed over to Mr. Owl in line for the ride.
In Frontierland, you can see a wooden leg labeled “Smith.” It’s a reference to Mary Poppins. In the movie, Bert says, “I knew a man with a wooden leg named Smith,” and Uncle Albert responds, “What’s the name of his other leg?”

The colored concrete walkways in the Magic Kingdom seem to correspond to each section — but they’re actually colored because Kodak and Disney did a study and found that light reflecting off colored concrete creates more vivid photographs.

There is a secret basketball court for staff in the upper third of the Matterhorn ride at Disneyland.
If you look closely at the second-story windows near the “Hall of Presidents,” you’ll see two lanterns. They are referencing the line “One if by land, and two if by sea” from Henry Wadsworth Longfellow’s poem “Paul Revere’s Ride.”

The brownish winding path in Liberty Square is meant to represent raw sewage that flowed down the streets of Colonial America, since indoor plumbing wasn’t yet invented.

It took an act of Congress to install the Presidential Seal in the “Hall of Presidents” attraction. There are only three seals: one in the Oval Office, one in the hall containing the Liberty Bell, and one in the “Hall of Presidents.”
The massive castle structure behind the German pavilion at EPCOT was meant to house a boat ride that simulated a trip down the Rhine River.

None of the shops in Disney World sells chewing gum, which is why you never see any stuck to the rides or sidewalks.

Toy Story characters used to drop to the ground when guests yelled, “Andy’s coming!” but the practice has been discontinued for safety reasons.
If you look closely at the hieroglyphics in the Indiana Jones sections of the “The Great Movie Ride,” you’ll see Mickey and Donald, and C-3PO and R2-D2.


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