Monday, December 16, 2013

News: 86-Year-Old Dies Hours Before Collecting Prize Of First Sex In Ten Years

The lesson here? Don't wait ten years to get laid. And don't eat steak when you have no teeth.
86-year-old chokes hours before collecting prize of first sex in a decade with Bunny Ranch prostitutes

Hours before collecting his prize of two prostitutes at a world famous brothel - and what would have been his first sex in a decade - an 86-year-old widower choked on a celebration steak dinner and died.

Johnny Orris was reportedly greatly looking forward to a ménage-a-trois at the Moonlite Bunny Ranch in Nevada, which he won on an episode of the Howard Stern Show called "Get My Grandpa Laid".

In October, when Orris appeared on the show he admitted to Stern he had remained celibate since his wife's death.

And although he loved his wife dearly, he had dreamt of having sex with "big breasted black women".

Orris won out over other competing pensioners and spent a day with his grandson, Ed, at the Bunny Ranch choosing two of the girls he wanted to fulfil his "dream come true".

He chose blonde Caressa Kisses and brunette Vanity.

He then went home to Illinois and corresponded almost every day with the pair.

"I'm gonna be back here at 9 o'clock - you'd better be ready!' Orris told the girls.

(read more)

Craigslist Ad Of The Day: Free Human-Size Hamster Wheel

best of craigslist > new york >


FREE HUMAN SIZE HAMSTER WHEEL



FREE HUMAN SIZED HAMSTER WHEEL AVAILABLE FOR IMMEDIATE PICK UP. CAN ACCOMODATE UP TO 200 LBS. FULLY FUNCTIONAL.

NOT RECOMMENDED FOR HOUSES WITH SMALL CHILDREN OR ANIMALS.

50 LBS OF SHREDDED NEWSPAPER ALSO AVAILABLE.

I WILL NOT HAVE THIS IN MY HOUSE ANY LONGER.

TAKING APPOINTMENTS TO VIEW THE WHEEL THIS WEEK.

Scotch Tape Portraits Of The Day

They have a certain Picasso-esque flavor to them. I'm not sure whether to laugh or run.

From photographer Wes Naman.











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