Monday, June 17, 2013

News: SC Man Beats Disabled Man With His Own Prosthetic Leg

What? Not Florida?
South Carolina Man Arrested For Beating Disabled Man With His Own Prosthetic Leg

June 17, 2013

A disabled South Carolina man was pushed off a moped and then beaten with his own prosthetic leg by an assailant who was arrested early today for assault, cops charge.

According to a Myrtle Beach Police Department report, Jeffrey Johnson was riding his moped when Joel Parrish, 35, pushed him off the vehicle. “Once the victim hit the ground his prosthetic leg came off,” cops noted.

While Johnson, 43, was on the ground, Parrish allegedly “began to kick and punch” him, investigators allege.

“The suspect also picked up the subject’s prosthetic leg and hit him with it several times.”

Johnson, who was interviewed by police at a local hospital, suffered a laceration above his right eye that required stitches.

Parrish, seen in the above mug shot, was booked this morning into the Myrtle Beach jail on a felony assault count.

(From The Smoking Gun)

Bandwiches Of The Day

From McSweeney's, by John Peck. Thanks for the link, Marianne. 
The Who: Roast beef, boiled guitar strings, dinner roll.

Rolling Stones: Beef tongue, caviar, platinum-coated fried onions, ketchup, white bread.

Black Sabbath: Ham, stilton, LSD mustard, milled wheat bread.

Van Halen: Grilled 17-cheese sandwich on white bread; side of nacho cheese soup.

Ted Nugent: Cubed Grizzly bear, white buffalo brisket, unicorn haunch, Jim Beam barbecue sauce, white bread.

Bruce Springsteen: Cheesesteak, peppers, grilled headband, ketchup, seeded bun.

Guns ’n Roses: Bacon-double cheeseburger, bittermelon jelly, Rogaine aioli, sliced glazed donut.

Tom Waits: Boiled racehorse brisket, mustard, dark rye bread.

Queen: Fried Corinthian leather, Pop Rocks, sprouts, mayo, baguette.

Hall and Oates: Tuna salad, diet coleslaw, pomade, hamburger bun.

Kiss: Low-sodium smoked turkey, Velveeta, braised $100 bills, sequined bun.

Styx: Chopped hot dog, Cheez-Whiz, butter, poppyseed bagel.

Prince: Braised peacock cheeks, lavender spread, mustard, mayo, baguette.

Grateful Dead: Lemon verbena sorbet, peanut butter, clarified hemp butter, deep-fried brownie bites, M&Ms, stale focaccia.

Nick Drake: Ptarmigan tears, nettle spread, rice bread.

David Bowie: Curried snow leopard, mayo, garlic naan.

(More here)

14 Really Lame Boat Names Of The Day

Okay, 12 lames ones. The first two, I like. The last one is the worst.

Epic Rap Battle: Frank Sinatra vs. Freddie Mercury

Don't watch if you are easily offended. The ERB vids pull no punches.

5 Movie Dads Who Rock (Of The Day)

One last nod to Father's Day from The Daily Beast.

Damon Macready (Nicolas Cage)—or “Big Daddy”—is a former NYPD detective turned vigilante hero. He dresses up in a Batman-like suit and fights crime alongside his 11-year-old ass-kicking daughter, Hit Girl (Chloe Grace Moretz), whom he’s been training since she was a child to be a crime-fighting hero. In one scene, he teaches her not to be afraid of guns by putting a bulletproof vest on her and shooting her several times in the chest. In exchange, Hit Girl gets some ice cream.

Liam Neeson plays Bryan Mills, a former CIA operative who quit his job with the agency to be closer to his daughter, Kim (Maggie Grace). When Kim is kidnapped during a trip to Paris, Mills immediately flies over on a redeye and goes on a neck-snapping, electrocuting revenge rampage in search of his lost child. In addition to his hand-to-hand combat skills and expert gunplay, Mills also has the world’s biggest pop star on speed dial, ever since he saved her life during a bizarre backstage assassination attempt.

In John Singleton’s 1991 film, after getting in a fight at school, Tre Styles’ (Cuba Gooding Jr.) mother sends him to live with his father, Furious Styles (Laurence Fishburne), in South Central Los Angeles. The night Tre arrives, Furious—a Vietnam vet—shoots at a burglar. Later on, he dispenses valuable advice to his son. “Any fool with a dick can make a baby, but only a real man can raise his children,” he says. With Furious’ guidance and tough love, Tre grows into a college-bound young man who holds down a job at the local mall. When Tre gets caught in the middle of a gang war between the Crips and Bloods, Furious talks him out of getting involved.

Okay, so French hitman Leon (Jean Reno) isn’t Matilda’s (Natalie Portman) biological father. But after her entire family is killed by a corrupt cop (Gary Oldman) and his gang of thugs, he takes her in, saving her life, and teaches her how to become “a cleaner” (an assassin). He's like the father she never had, since her former one was a scumbag who treated her like dirt. Later on, he’ll rescue her from the clutches of the aforementioned pill-popping cop at a police station, and eventually sacrifice his life for hers.

In the romantic comedy Easy A, Olive (Emma Stone) is a cerebral high schooler who decides to start accepting money from nerds at the school in exchange for saying they’ve slept with her—thereby upping their social standing. Despite rumors spreading that his daughter is a harlot, Dill (Stanley Tucci) has complete and utter faith in her, no matter what. He’s also witty and hilariously sarcastic. “I’d take a bullet for you, you know that,” he says. “Right between the eyes. I would slit my throat rather than say something to someone that you didn’t want me to say!”

(More here. The original list is 13 dads)


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