Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Commercial Of The Day: Rice Krispies

Ladies and gentlemen, The Rolling Stones.

Thanks, Donna D.

Poem Of The Day: Motherf**king Pterodactyl

Click the pic to see it on The Oatmeal.


SNL Clip Of The Day: BTTF Auditions 2

Some are better than others. Bill Hader wins.

News Of The Day: Pisser

"Does it smell like pee in here to you?"

From The Smoking Gun.

Police Bust Creepy Iowan Who Soiled Seats

APRIL 3--Meet Raymond Foley.

The 59-year-old Iowan was charged yesterday with criminal mischief after he was allegedly caught on videotape urinating on the office chairs of female coworkers, cops report.

Foley, seen in the above mug shot, was fired last Monday from his job with the Iowa Farm Bureau, where he worked in the information technology department. According to a West Des Moines Police Department report, Foley’s IT post helped facilitate his chair soiling.

A Farm Bureau official told investigators that Foley had access to the Farm Bureau’s employee database, which contains photographs of workers. He would browse the database and “pick out attractive females and then on off hours, he would come into work, go to their desk, and urinate on their chairs.”

After employees began noticing the appearance of mysterious chair stains late last year, Farm Bureau officials decided to try and trap the seat soiler.

A video camera installed in February subsequently recorded Foley urinating on the chairs of at least four female coworkers, according to the police report.

“There are possibly 2 to 3 other chairs urinated on that were out of view of the cameras,” according to cops.

When questioned by a Farm Bureau corporate investigator, Foley reportedly admitted, “I was doing inappropriate things I shouldn’t be doing.”

Beyond that statement, the police report offers no insight why Foley would have wanted to urinate on the office chairs. Farm Bureau workers reported that Foley had never threatened any of his coworkers and “never stated anything threatening” after being fired on March 26.

Police estimated that the urination spree resulted in $4500 in damages, and that 10 chairs were soiled (four of which were “destroyed/damaged”).

Video Mashup Of The Day: Super Jumper

From the same genius who did the Stevie Wonder/Clash vid from a few weeks back.

Detention Slips Of The Day

More proof that we need to go back to spanking in schools. I got paddled in school and look how I turned out. Okay, bad example.

"After a student said 'Can it be that big?' his comment was 'That's what she said.' These inappropriate comments are made too often.

"While involved in an elimination basketball game with Mr. Edwards' class, Brandon grabbed his crotch as if to say 'right here' to some of Mr. Edwards' students."

"Thinks it's funny to pass gas while in the van. I've told him to stop, that it's not funny nor polite to others in the van. When others scream he laughs."

From FunnyOrDie.com, Pleated-Jeans.com, Smosh.com, Detention-Slip.org, Huffington Post.

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