Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Remix Of The Day: Fresh Prince

It's got a good beat and you can dance to it. I give it a 92.

Fart-Blaming Phrases Of The Day

Highbrow as ever here at LOTD with this fun list from Suzanne.
  • He who observed it served it.
  • He who detected it ejected it.
  • Whoever rhymed it crimed it.
  • Whoever spoke last set off the blast.
  • Whoever smelt it dealt it.
  • Whoever denied it supplied it.
  • The one who speaks is the one who reeks.
  • The smeller's the feller.
  • He who inculpated promulgated.
  • The one who said the verse just made the atmosphere worse.
  • Whoever pokes fun is the smoking gun.
  • He who accuses blew the fuses.
  • Whoever said the rhyme did the crime.
  • He who refuted it tooted it.
  • He who pointed the finger pulled the finger.
  • He who articulated it particulated it.
  • He who deduced it produced it.
  • She who sniffed it biffed it.
  • The slanderer made the gland error.
  • He who eulogized it aerosolized it.

Other phrases:

  • A fox smells his own hole first.
  • Who cut the cheese?
  • Barking spiders.
  • Who stepped on a frog?
  • Mouse on a motorcycle.
  • The first chicken that cackles laid the egg.
  • Somebody's baking brownies.
  • He who blew the whistle blew the flute.
  • Who sat on a duck?
  • Ok... who did it?
  • The one who complains first is the one who farted.

Know any more?

Music Video Of The Day: Set Fire

My favorite song on an album filled with great songs.

News Story Of The Day: Son, You Got A Pistol In Your Butt

I wonder if he suffered from gunstipation? Thank you, I'm here all week. (Story from The Smoking Gun.)

Cops Believe North Carolina Inmate Hid 10-Inch Revolver In His Rectum

A man arrested this week in North Carolina may have stashed a .38 barrel revolver in his rectum, according to police, who reported that the unloaded 10-inch weapon was not discovered until after the suspect had been booked into a cell in the county jail.

Michael Leon Ward, a 22-year-old Georgia resident, was arrested Monday after a trooper spotted him speeding. Ward, who resisted arrest, was subdued with the help of a stun gun.

A subsequent search of his vehicle resulted in additional charges for possession of marijuana and drug paraphernalia.

But it was only after Ward--who is a fugitive on a murder warrant out of Atlanta--entered the Onslow County jail that sheriff’s investigators discovered what else he possessed.

According to cops, Ward, pictured at right, summoned jailers to his cell, claiming that someone was trying to kill him, and that he discovered a gun inside his cell. The weapon was found in the toilet, where Ward claimed he tossed it after finding it in his bunk.

The recovered gun is pictured in the above police evidence photo.

Sheriff’s investigators say they are investigating how Ward got the weapon into the jail, since he had been “strip searched prior to being booked into a cell block.”

The inmate, a press release notes, was taken today to a local hospital “for possible injuries that may have occurred to Ward’s rectum where it is believed Ward may have concealed” the revolver.

The gun, deputies reported, was test fired and found to be operational.


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