Monday, October 31, 2011

Vid Of The Day: Father-Daughter Wedding Dance

You will like this.


Grandmother Stabs Boyfriend Over Alleged Monopoly Cheating

He, in turn, beat her with the ugly stick. From Keith and The Smoking Gun.



October 27, 2011--A New Mexico woman repeatedly stabbed her boyfriend after accusing him of cheating during a Monopoly game early yesterday, according to police.

Laura Chavez, 60, and her boyfriend were playing the popular board game at her Santa Fe apartment when the dispute occurred. Chavez, pictured in the mug shot above, allegedly admitted stabbing her beau with a kitchen knife.

Police reported that both Chavez and the 48-year-old victim appeared to be intoxicated.

The man, who cops found bleeding heavily from wounds on his head and right wrist, was hospitalized yesterday in stable condition. The victim told investigators that Chavez first hit him over the head with a glass bottle and then “grabbed a knife and began cutting him causing injuries to the top of his head, neck, left eyebrow and right wrist area."

Chavez went to jail, went directly to jail on a variety of charges, including aggravated battery on a household member with a deadly weapon and battery on a law enforcement officer.

She is being held in the Santa Fe county lockup in lieu of $5000 bond (or until she rolls doubles).

Chavez’s 10-year-old grandson, who had been playing with the two adults, told officers that his grandmother began to argue with the victim because she thought he “was cheating at Monopoly.” The boy, who had gone to bed before the stabbing began, did not further describe the alleged cheating.

The Best/Worst Halloween Costumes Ever (Of The Day)

A yearly tradition here at LOTD, freshly updated.


The Toilet (Kids)
For a humiliation your child can tell his shrink about when he's grown.



Sheepfucker
Baaaaaaaaad


Pimp Baby
Where my binkies at?


Mammogram Machine
The boob is already in there, bud.


The Birds
Love it



Pizza Guy
Lemme guess--sausage?


The Simpsons
Clever, but creepy


Marge Simpson
Clever, but really creepy



Burger King Stormtrooper
One theme at a time, please


Rebecca Black
Even lamer than the real thing.



Jewish Wolverine
WIN!


Milk Carton
Because missing children are hilarious


Al Pacino in Cruising
Just stay home.



Frank 'n' Beans
Don't forget to scratch yourselves all night


Bert & Ernie
It sounded good on paper


Rat Trap
When you've already given up on getting laid.



Penis Man
A total dick


Swan Dress
Um...



Sperm Man
There's millions of these costumes floating around


Mr. T
If anyone tells you that blackface went out with Al Jolson, say, "Quit your jibba jabba, fool!" Voted the Costume Most Likely To Get Your Ass Kicked.



I Scream, You Scream
I'll let you out of the box as soon as the ice cream melts.


Alien baby baby
Wrong but funny


The Turd


Yep.


TIE Fighter (Star Wars)
He'll be in the den, watching TV. Alone.


Trouser Snake
No woman will come near you all night


ORLY?
ORLY?


Whatever The Fuck This Is
"No, dude, you don't look weird at all."


The Runnybutt
Genius! Just squeeze the hand-held bubble to make it ooze diarrhea.


Maxi Pad
For maximum awkwardness


Saggy Boobs
Mom?


Genie
What's with all the dick costumes?


Birth 1
Yeah but how do you walk in it?


Birth 2
Group version.



Pasta with Meat/Balls
Pasta with meatfuck


Yoda?
From The Black Lagoon


Vagina
This is not the worst vagina costume you'll ever see...


Vagina With Tampon
...but this might be


Craigslist Ad Of The Day: Halloween Help

A classic from Cam.


Vintage Commercial Of The Day

Here's the most disturbing thing you will see this Halloween.



And a couple of spoofs:





Friday, October 28, 2011

QOTD: Halloween




Are you dressing up for Halloween (party, work, whatever)?

As what?

Speak.

News Of The Day: Man Vows To Masturbate In Every Starbucks Bathroom In NYC

From Keith and Gothamist.



An area man who calls himself Mister PeePee has dedicated himself to exploring the unlimited erotic potential of the Starbucks bathroom.

Starbucks Gossip says this gentleman has made a podcast [since removed?] describing his mission to masturbate in every Starbucks bathroom in New York City, and rate the results. That's over 298 rub outs!

"Today's Starbucks visit is rated as a 4 Boner," the chronic masturbator wrote on Twitter. "Spacious, clean, excellent coffee, strong wifi, no interruptions & 1 hot chick."

But that review dates back to December, and since then he has yet to file anything more than terse updates about which Starbucks he's currently, uh, enjoying.

Come on Mister PeePee, don't be such a tease! The world wants to know all about your masturbation. Particularly, the world would like to know your name, you creepy perv.

The 20 Most Recognizable Scents In The World

According to a Yale University study cited by Salon.com and Crayola.

At first glance I saw baby powder and cigarette butts back to back and thought for a split second that they'd listed "baby butts."

"Yep," I thought to myself, "That's a recognizable scent all right."

The first time I changed my child's diaper was an eye-opening (and sinus-opening) event. I was one of those guys who had never changed one before. I opened up that newborn Pampers and nearly shit my own pants.

I asked my wife, "Did she have a sloppy Joe for breakfast?"

And the smell. Sweet hot Jesus.

"Is that normal?" I said. "I think she might be sick or something."

She laughed. "Nope. Normal."

"Dang. That ain't right. She gonna be doing this a lot?"

"Yep," says the Mrs. "And so are you."



1. Coffee
2. Peanut butter
3. Vicks VapoRub
4. Chocolate
5. Wintergreen oil
6. Baby powder
7. Cigarette butts
8. Mothballs
9. Dry cat food
10. Beer
11. Ivory bar soap
12. Juicy Fruit gum
13. Orange
14. Cinnamon
15. Lemon
16. Tuna
17. Banana
18. Crayons
19. Cheese
20. Bleach

I'll add some.

21. Desperation
22. Napalm in the morning (thanks, Lefty)
23. Fear
24. Bullshit
25. Danger
26. Vehicle emissions (thanks, Sarah)
27. Denial
28. Deception
29. Puppies.


Thursday, October 27, 2011

Guy Who Will Kill You (Of The Day)

And lookie-look what we got here.



Know what I'd love to see? This guy and Dalton go at it.

Effin' Creepy Vintage Halloween Costumes Of The Day

From Rachel.


Bette Davis guards the pumpkin patch


Rosemary's baby and his dad


Whaddya mean, "not wearing masks"?




Walter Matthau, a Sand Person and Jigsaw head out for trick-or-treating


The world's first "green" costume, made from recycled aprons and donated pubic hair.


This is what you get for eating hot wings, watching The Shining and listening to Abbey Road right before bed.


Welcome back...to that same old creep you had nightmares about


Do I smell bacon?


Deleted scene from either The Karate Kid or A Clockwork Orange.


On behalf of (clockwise from bottom right) H. H. Holmes, Emmett Kelly, Nathan Bedford Forrest, Moses, Ben Willis, Jigsaw (again), Pancho Villa, Blackbeard, Frank, Harvey and Al Jolson, welcome to Hell.



Pics from Slightly Warped and Huffington Post.


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