Friday, April 29, 2011

Links Of The Day

I'm away from the 'puter this afternoon, so here are some links to get you through the day and the weekend.


I spent a lot of time there, and so did you. Malls, circa 1990. (HowToBeARetronaut/Kate S.)


7 Basic Things You're Doing Wrong (Cracked.com)


50 things that will put you in a good mood instantly (Glamour.com)


Save the words!


Drugs make you ugly (MSNBC/The Movie Guru)


A what museum? (Jeff Emtman)


Hot chicks with douchebags (Afro Amber)


"Do you remember mix tapes? The owners of Mississippi Records—a vinyl-and-cassette-only record store located on North Mississippi Avenue in Portland, Oregon—most certainly do: They’ve put together the best mixes we’ve never seen (because you can get them only by visiting the store in person). But a Bay Area record label called Root Strata has digitized dozens of these tapes and distributed them (as free downloads) online. The series starts off with House of Broken Hearts—an hour-long collection of “Early R&B, Doo Wop, Rockabilly & Instrumentals”—and only gets better." (VeryShortList.com)


Stop making that ridiculous face in your photos. (Anti-Duckface/Frank and Amy M.)


Pick the perp. (Steve Hatchett)

Vid Of The Day: Secret Ingredients

Dude. Try some decaf.

From Jessica H.

Job Opportunity Of The Day

No two-armed dope fiends!

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Dating Tips Of The Day

From 1956 -- and yet, still relevant today. Ladies still wear gloves, right?

From Karen C. and Kris Abel's Tech Life.













See more at Kris Abel's blog.

Dumbass Of The Day: Kelly Gibson

From Anastasia and Wane.com.



Paint-huffing husband hauled to jail

FORT WAYNE, Ind. (WANE) - A Fort Wayne man was charged with inhaling toxic vapors for the 48th time after his wife called police and told them he was huffing paint in their apartment last Thursday.

According to a Fort Wayne Police Department report, when an officer arrived at the 517 Lawton Place apartment, Elizabeth Gibson said she and her husband Kelly had been in an argument and he had gone upstairs to huff paint.

The report said since she was afraid to go inside, she handed the officer her keys and followed him up.

When the officer opened the door, the entire apartment smelled of paint fumes and Kelly was found sitting on the couch with his shirt off, and his hands, mouth, nose and chin covered in silver paint.

Police said Kelly had a can of silver spray paint in his right hand and a paint-covered plastic bag in his left.

The officer said Kelly had a dazed, glassy-eyed look about him and was unsteady on his feet.

Kelly was taken to the Allen County Jail and charged with inhaling toxic vapors.

This incident was the 48th time Kelly was charged with inhaling since 1992.

Dancing Dudes Embarrassing Themselves At Concerts (Of The Day)

You know the old saying about how you should dance as if no one is watching? No, you shouldn't.











I saved the best one for last. O.M.G. He looks like one of those crazy people who argue with themselves on the street corner.



Bonus vid



Wednesday, April 27, 2011

21 (x2) Things We Wish We'd Known At 21




Continuing a theme. I highlighted my favorites. From Wendy Atterberry at The Frisky.
  1. Champagne, vodka, gin and beer don’t mix well.
  2. If he never calls before 11 p.m., he’s not interested in a real relationship.
  3. “Comfort” and “security” aren’t big enough reasons to stay with someone.
  4. Guys don’t care about — or even notice — those 10 extra pounds.
  5. Love is rarely packaged the way you expect it to be.
  6. It’s generally much kinder to be direct with someone than pussy-foot around the truth in order to spare feelings.
  7. One of the biggest keys to making friendships last is being flexible in your expectations.
  8. If your happiness with someone is contingent on one little thing he or she needs to change, cut your losses and move on.
  9. If you don’t have the money to pay cash for it, don’t buy it.
  10. Box dye jobs look like box dye jobs (especially if you’re going for red).
  11. If his friends hate you, your days together are probably numbered.
  12. Relationships are not supposed to be hard in the beginning.
  13. If he says he doesn’t want a relationship, he really means it.
  14. Eyebrows really don’t grow back if they’re overly tweezed.
  15. Nude underwear is really the only acceptable color to wear under white pants.
  16. This moment — however good or bad it is — will be just a blip on the radar two years from now.
  17. If he seems obsessed with his ex, he probably is.
  18. Holding a grudge is bad for your back (and soul).
  19. When a vet says your cat has cancer, get a second opinion before you let him operate.
  20. A teaspoon is not the same thing as a tablespoon.
  21. Buying it one size too small won’t make you lose weight any faster.

Wendy thought of more a few months later:

  1. Therapy isn’t just for people who think they’re crazy.
  2. Most people experience bouts of loneliness, sadness, confusion and insecurity, too (no matter how strong or put-together they seem).
  3. If you hate your job, quit ... but not before you have another one lined up (or enough money to float you for many months).
  4. Judging other people’s decisions is not the best way to validate your own.
  5. Sleep, water, and sunscreen: cheaper than Botox and more effective than makeup.
  6. New Year’s Eve is pretty overrated.
  7. Mom and Dad don’t always know best.
  8. Toothpaste makes a wonderful overnight zit cream.
  9. If you can’t imagine kissing him, don’t bother going out with him “just to make sure there isn’t something there.”
  10. A good haircut is worth the expense.
  11. The price of owning a car is typically three to five times what you pay for it when you buy it.
  12. Two glasses of water after a night of drinking will save your ass the next morning.
  13. If it fits you perfectly and you love it, buy two. (But three if it’s on sale!)
  14. It’s never as good as the first time.
  15. Internet comments are rarely about the person being responded to.
  16. A smile can make you look at least five years younger.
  17. If you suddenly look five pounds heavier, you might need a new bra more than a new diet.
  18. Seriously, you don’t need a relationship to be happy.
  19. Washing your face before bed is a must.
  20. Sometimes, keeping the peace is so much better than being right.
  21. If it’s important, don’t say it in an email.

Retro TV Show Of The Day: Chuck Norris

Not only have I never seen this, I've never even heard of it. 'Cuz I would've totally watched this, even if Chuck never talked at all, which seems to be the case.



Best YouTube comment: "So who's the star of this show? Is it Chuck Norris?"

Things You Do In Your 20s That You'll Regret In Your 40s

Good advice from COED magazine. Great advice, actually.

What would you add to this list?

CHOOSING YOUR BEST FRIEND'S GIRLFRIEND OVER HIM/HER

The fact that she was untouchable -- lest you ruin the entire friendship you and your best buddy had built up since you were six -- made her all the more desirable. But one day, they broke up. And soon you were spending your days holding hands and helping her pick out duvet covers. You and “that asshole” Mr. Ex stopped talking. Time goes by. Then some afternoon you come home to find her blowing a guy from the laundromat.

TATTOOS

These days, having a tattoo is practically like having a belly button – everybody’s got one. The only difference is, having a belly button isn’t going to make you want to punch yourself in the face for stupidity as soon as you’re out of your “Jack Daniels phase.” Some tattoos won’t be constantly regrettable reminders that you were once a jackass, that is, unless you got any on your face, neck, fingers or any other place where your boss will discover much you used to like naked Star Wars characters. Oh and ladies, just so you know, one day that lower back tattoo you all seem to have is going to be known as the “old lady tattoo.” Not so sexy, is it?

BAD CREDIT

This one applies to everyone, since we Americans all seem to be addicted to screwing ourselves over in the long-run by getting greedy and buying a bunch of stupid crap every 10 seconds when we can’t afford it. Yep, I’ve been there, too. And for now, while your biggest commitment in life is playing Left4Dead, it might seem OK. But when you have a family to support and sending your kids to college is suddenly slopped on your plate, you’re going to be eating a giant sh!t sandwich.

GETTING MARRIED TOO YOUNG

This rotten son-of-a-bitch trap can swallow even the most farsighted individuals. And I get it: You meet the woman of your dreams. You spend all your time with her; she gets all your jokes. And pretty soon, she’s on the pill and you’re living under the same roof, picking out paint for the dining room, secretly wondering what the hell happened to your manhood. Before you know it, you’re d*ck deep in webcam girl bills and pleated khakis. Next up, divorce, which charmingly includes going into debt to pay for the lawyers.

SMOKING

If you didn’t know smoking kills you by now, then you probably deserve whatever fate becomes you. The thing the never-smokers don’t understand is, smoking is good for the soul, damnit! (Unfortunately, you only think that because you’re addicted to nicotine.) But unless you’re some type of endlessly-going genetic anomaly, THIS SH!T WILL KILL YOU. Seriously, so unless you want your kids to think you’re a total asswipe, quit right now. If you don’t want to have kids, fine. But that’s not going to make the chemo any less sucky.

NOT TRAVELING (ENOUGH)

It’s hard to realize when you’re 21, but the time for whisking off to foreign lands with nothing to worry about besides which awesome thing to see next quickly evaporates. Before you know it, you’re still in the same place you were seven years before, but with too many responsibilities to get away with jetting off to Tonga for six months, just for the hell of it. So the best bet is to get as much traveling in while you’re single, childless and can still afford to not be working on building up your 401K (as if those mattered much these days, anyway).

(List continues at COED)

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Viral Video of the Day: iTr3vor

Meet Trevor, AKA iTr3vor, a kid who shows would-be viral video producers how it's DONE. Trevor goes to Apple stores and does impromptu dance routines for his 26,800 YouTube subscribers.

People staring? iTr3vor don't care, iTr3vor just dance like he wants!

--Bev

News Story Of The Day: Man Assaults Cousin Over TV Show

I watched about ten minutes of "Game Of Thrones" the other night. It isn't worth fighting over.

This reminds me of how people like to get in their cars after a movie like The Road Warrior or The Fast And Furious and tear out of the parking lot like they're in a drag race.

Oh, and guess where this happened. Yup. Florida. (WTF, Florida?)

From The Smoking Gun.



Man Battered Kin During Argument Over HBO's "Game Of Thrones"

Meet Michael Podniestrzanski.

The Florida man, 23, was arrested last night after an argument over the new HBO fantasy show “Game of Thrones” turned violent.

As will happen during shows “based on medieval times,” Podniestrzanski and his cousin “got into a verbal altercation” over which of the cable program’s characters was going to win, according to a Manatee County Sheriff’s Office report.

“Game of Thrones,” which premiered last Sunday night, is based on the first book in a series of “epic fantasy” novels written by George R.R. Martin.

With the argument between Podniestrzanski and Joshua Ross escalating, Podniestrzanski allegedly “took a swing at” his kin. After scuffling for a bit, Podniestrzanski’s cousin “ended up getting thrown in to the front window during the altercation.”

Podniestrzanski was arrested for misdemeanor domestic battery and transported to the county jail, where he is currently being held.


Movie Musical Of The Day: Predator (NSFW)

If it bleeds, they can kill it. (NSFW - a wee bit of language.)

Monday, April 25, 2011

News Story Of The Day: Trump Dogged By Rumors His Hair Is Not From U.S.

From The Borowitz Report.




Trump Dogged By Rumors His Hair Is Not From The U.S.

So-called ‘Balders’ Movement Gathers Steam


NEW YORK (4/25/11) – A threat to the fledgling presidential campaign of Donald Trump emerged today, as a group of activists charged that Mr. Trump is not eligible to hold the nation’s highest office because his hair does not originate from the U.S.

The group, who call themselves “Balders,” claim that the hair-like substance that crowns Mr. Trump’s head is from a foreign country, which would mean that the candidate is less than one hundred percent American.

“Time and time again, Donald Trump has refused to produce a certificate of authenticity for his hair,” said Leeann Selwyn, a leading Balder. “This is tantamount to a comb-over of the truth.”

But if in fact Mr. Trump’s distinctive mane turns out to be of foreign origin, such a revelation need not be fatal to his presidential hopes, says Professor Davis Logsdon, who has studied the history of presidential hair at the University of Minnesota.

“Remember, several of our greatest early presidents, like George Washington and Thomas Jefferson, had hair that originated elsewhere,” Mr. Logsdon says. “The only thing that could kill Trump politically is if his hair turns out to be from France.”

At a GOP event in Iowa, Mr. Trump made no reference to the Balders controversy, and instead sounded an upbeat theme: “If I am given the chance to do the same magic I did for NBC, America will be the number four country in the world.”

In a piece of good news for Mr. Trump, a new poll showed a majority of likely voters agreeing with the statement, “Donald Trump being sworn in as President would be a great last scene in a Planet of the Apes remake.”

Celebrity Majors Of The Day




Ever wondered what famous people studied in college? Neither have I, but here's a list anyway.

Oprah Winfrey - Speech/Drama
Matthew McConaughey - Pre-Law
Edward Norton - History
Jake Gyllenhaal - Eastern Religion/Philosophy
Jennifer Garner - Chemistry
Natalie Portman - Psychology
Conan O'Brien - U.S. History
Kevin Costner - Business
Brad Pitt - Journalism
Ashley Judd - French
Reese Witherspoon - English Literature
Ashton Kutcher - Biochemical Engineering
Eva Longoria Parker - Kinesiology
Will Ferrell - Sports Broadcasting
Sean Penn - Auto Mechanics
Courteney Cox - Interior Design/Architecture
Maggie Gyllenhaal - Literature/Eastern Religion
Forest Whitaker - Opera
Matt Damon - English
Kate Beckinsale - French/Russian Literature
Ray Romano - Accounting
Halle Berry - Broadcast Journalism
Chuck Liddell - Accounting
Clay Aiken - Special Education
Sandra Day O'Connor - Economics
Art Garfunkel - Mathematics
Jon Hamm - English
Lisa Kudrow - Biology
Mary Kate Olsen – Cuisine
Gwyneth Paltrow - Art History
Tommy Lee Jones - English
Denzel Washington - Journalism
Robin Williams - Sociology
Brooke Shields - French Lit
Steve Martin - Philosophy
Jerry Bruckheimer - psychology
Jon Stewart - psychology
John Legend - English
Vera Wang - theater

How about you? What's your major?

Vid Of The Day: High-Five Etiquette

From Tripp & Tyler.

Movie Trailer Of The Day: Change-Up

Only married dudes rock the dick 'fro.

Simpsons Newspaper Headlines Of The Day

Blog Posts Amusing Screencaps from Beloved TV Show.





























Sunday, April 24, 2011

Tragic Commercials Of The Day

Happy Easter, gang!

Everyone knows Sonny is coo-coo for Cocoa Puffs. Alas, this condition has persisted for decades without intervention. Does he have no loved ones, no dear friends who are sensitive to his plight? On the contrary, those he keeps company with taunt him endlessly with large bowls of his sweet, chocolaty Achilles heel. They've never had to deal with him the next day. They've never had to be the ones holding his feathers back from his beak as he vomits cocoa almost endlessly. They've never had to deal with the constant shaking, the tearful promises of 'never again'.



Even in the old days, when his addiction was just beginning to grow, his support group could best be described as enablers. See how they taunt him, knowing full well his weakness for that chocolatey treat. It makes me sad.


-Lefty

Friday, April 22, 2011

Models Falling On The Catwalk Of The Day

It's wrong to laugh at people falling. That's what makes it so fun.

A couple of these are NSFW-ish.































Hey, don't walk th---



I still love this classic...

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