Monday, February 28, 2011

Cool New CD Of The Day: Cash's Bootlegs, Vol. 2

I need this. You need this. I already bought mine. Your turn.


From VeryShortList.com:


Columbia’s deep delve into Johnny Cash’s personal archives is paying off for a second time with Bootleg, Volume 2: From Memphis to Hollywood—a two-CD, 57-track set that appears on February 22.

The first “genuine bootleg” set in this series came out in 2006; it featured home recordings that Cash had made in 1973 but locked away in a small vault on his Tennessee estate. Volume 2 moves further back in time and explores Cash’s beginnings in and around Sun Studios in Memphis.

You’ll hear early radio broadcasts, radio ads, and Cash’s own home recordings (which include amazing demo versions of “I Walk the Line,” “Big River,” and “Get Rhythm”). A second disc covers Cash’s first decade at Columbia—it, too, is full of demo recordings and previously unreleased versions of songs, like “Six White Horses.”

Most of these tracks are eye-opening—most of them are totally delightful—and more than a few are absolutely essential: We’re already looking forward to Volume 3.


Two CDs, 57 tracks--this is a STEAL at $9.99. Buy it here and support LOTD.



Worst-Dressed Oscar Attendees Of The Day

At least according to MSN's Wonderwall. Whoever they are. I mean, besides a bunch of people named after a bad Oasis song.


Country Wrong: GWYNETH PALTROW arrives on the red carpet slightly wrinkled from a long shift warbling on the Lido deck of the Starship Enterprise. The multi-hyphenate-determined actress shimmers in a non-stick metallic Calvin Klein column accented with a Louis Vuitton brooch on her hip. Though the gown is fine, it's not fabulous, with her trademark buttery-blonde locks pushing her over into worst territory. Gwyn, unhand that flat iron and give that mane back to Janice from the Muppets, because it's looking more listless than Charlie Sheen after an extended porn star bender.


Color us disappointed that HELENA BONHAM CARTER opted to keep the crazy in check for the Academy Awards. Her reason for toning it down makes perfect sense: The night should be about the films, not the fashions. But we were still crushed she didn't arrive (barely) wearing an Edward Scissorhands (as seen through the looking glass) original. What we got instead is a relatively tame Union Jack garter belt and a strappy, black velvet creation from Colleen Atwood, who took home a costume design award for Alice in Wonderland (directed, of course, by HBC's significant other, Tim Burton). But we should have known that Helena would come through for us in the end. Literally. Seems she specifically selected this turn-of-the century (as in the 19th century) gown because it added some heft to her hiney.


In her shameless campaign to nab the Best Supporting Actress Oscar for her gritty performance as Marky Mark's mother in The Fighter, MELISSA LEO took out full-page ads that featured her posing in a full-length fake fur coat. In what we now recognize as a Pollyanna-ish burst of naiveté, we figured that Tauntaun-shorn shag carpet would mark her sartorial low point. We were wrong, because in between her tireless self-promotion, Melissa has been hard at work glue-gunning lace doilies onto shards of broken mirrors from Caesars Palace, although she does deserve credit for pretending not to notice that she still has a hanger stuck in the back of her high-collared gown.

See Jennifer Hudson, Sharon Stone, Marisa Tomei and the rest here.

News Of The Day: California Unemployment Rises By 2.5 Men

From the oft-hilarious Borowitz Report.


WTF? Books Of The Day

They're real. I just ordered the Beverly Hillbillies one.

See more here. Thanks, Blong, for the link.


Hopefully your phobia isn't pop-up books


You handle it too much?




"Dear Penthorse, I am a filly at a small Midwestern ranch. You'll never believe what happened to me last night..."


Haunted by the ghosts of penises past




"For woodworkers who want to be buried in their work"


Foul demons of flatulence, come OUT!! Leave this rectum at once!


They say he was gay. I don't see it.


Chapter 1: Be Catholic


I have a live pet I'd like to try this on


It will leave you rolling... much like the heads




Jethro 1:24: "In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth and the cement pond... then Noah rounded up the critters two by two..."


First you must find tampons in the wild and shoot them


WTF Video Of The Day

What must it be like to live in Japan? Here is a little slice of what a first kiss might be like to a youngster in Japan. Tender, sweet. Maybe we're not so different from them after all.
-Lefty


Vid Of The Day: Toddlers & Tiaras

Jimmy Kimmel always does good stuff after the Oscars (see "Handsome Men's Club"). Here's one he did last night. I like the ending.


Friday, February 25, 2011

14 Cringeworthy Kisses Of The Day

TV and movie lip-locks that made you squirm. And not in a good way.

Chosen by readers of EW.com.

LUKE & LEIA
The Empire Strikes Back

Aren't they brother and sister? They may not have known it at the time, but George Lucas did. Ew.

ANGELINA JOLIE & JAMES HAVEN
2000 Academy Awards

See above.

ADRIEN BRODY
& HALLE BERRY
2003 Academy Awards

Can you blame him? Well, one EW.com reader does: ''I HATED that kiss! Just because a woman is pretty and you’re a horny movie star doesn't mean you get to grab her and kiss her without her agreement. I wanted her to knee him in the balls.'' —TM

MERYL STREEP
& SANDRA BULLOCK
2010 Critics Choice Awards

Right about now, Meryl's praying she didn't catch anything

BRITNEY SPEARS, CHRISTINA AGUILERA
& MADONNA
2003 MTV Video Music Awards

Watching anybody kiss Madonna makes me gag.

JACK TORRANCE & BATHTUB LADY
The Shining

Everything was fine until she stayed in the tub a little too long. Like, 100 years.

MICHAEL JACKSON
& LISA-MARIE PRESLEY
1994 MTV Video Music Awards

From EW.com readers: "Not a 'thriller', just creepy." "Even remembering it grosses me out."

RALPH MACCHIO
& ELISABETH SHUE
The Karate Kid

Yes. Great movie but those two had zero chemistry. Zero.

AL
& TIPPER GORE
2000 Democratic Convention

An inconvenient truth: you two have to kiss each other. Urp.

(See the rest at EW.com)


Popbitch's Oscar Picks 2011

From Popbitch.com.



The Oscars are coming up, and the nominations are no surprise. It’s the usual crop of heavily promoted ‘legitimate’ movies up for all the awards, with scant regard to the fact that other films were actually released last year too.

Not being ones to let the little guy go unnoticed, we’ve compiled our own list of people and films who are just as deserving of an Oscar as ‘English-actor-playing-aristocracy’ in Serious-Film-About-Overcoming-Adversity.



BEST ACTOR
Danny Trejo -- Machete
Just because it’s Danny Trejo and he deserves an Oscar

BEST ACTRESS
Kelly Hu – The Tournament
Mainly because she’s really hard and an Oscar statuette would probably double up as a neat weapon if anyone jumped her.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
Steven Seagal -- Machete
Again, it’s about time.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Ashley C. Williams -- The Human Centipede
She was the one in the middle -- give her a break.


BEST COSTUMES

Michael Wilkinson -- TRON: Legacy
Because all-in-ones have never been so cool.


BEST DIRECTOR

Alexandre Aja -- Piranha 3D
Because he managed to treat the subject matter with the respect it deserved. In the hands of a lesser director it could have been exploitative.

BEST DOCUMENTARY
The Lovers’ Guide 3D -- Igniting Desire
It’s in 3D -- so now it’s even easier to learn how to have sex!

BEST EDITING
The BBFC -- I Spit on Your Grave & A Serbian Film
For sheer hard work.

BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM
22 Bullets [L'immortel]
Because it was the best foreign language film made this year. Well it had loads of gunfights in it anyway.



BEST ORIGINAL SONG
‘Frozen Skies’ from Mega Piranha, by Tiffany
We haven’t even heard it yet, but they went to the effort of recording an original song for a film called Mega Piranha -- that’s enough for us.

BEST PICTURE
Machete
Obviously.

BEST SOUND MIXING
The robot dance in Step Up 3D
Because it makes our bums feel all funny.



BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY

Machete
“Machete don’t text.”

We’ve emailed the Oscars people with our list and a five quid bribe to change the nominations. Fingers crossed.


See more at Popbitch.com.


Vid Of The Day: Face Yoga

Don't miss Smiling Fish Face.


Thursday, February 24, 2011

News Of The Day: Woman Bites Roommate's Breast For Eating Her Girl Scout Cookies

You know it's cookie time when bitches start grabbin' scissors and bitin' titties.

From WTSP.com and Wendy, who admits that she too would probably bite a boob over Thin Mints. As would I.



Florida woman bites her roommate's breast for eating her Girl Scout cookies

NAPLES, Florida -- A Naples woman was arrested this week for attacking her roommate after she allegedly ate her Thin Mint Girl Scout cookies.

According to police, 31-year-old Hersha Howard was charged with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon after she chased the victim with a pair of scissors.

The victim says that Howard burst into her room at 1 a.m. and began to argue and repeatedly jumped on top of the victim while striking her in the face.

During the late night melee, Howard reportedly bit the victim in the breast and continued to beat the victim until the two were separated.


Craigslist Ad Of The Day: Well Played, MILF

I Googled "MILF jogging" and this is one of the pics I got back. I guess she hurt herself running away from some creepy ass perv.




best of craigslist > new orleans >


To the redheaded MILF jogging in the park Sunday morning, apologies - m4w


Date: 2010-02-22, 11:08PM CST


I hope you realize that my perving was directed at you and only you, and absolutely no part of it was meant for your young daughter (niece? juvenile jogging companion?).

As implied, I enjoy the perks of jogging at Audubon, and one of those is a bit of ogling on the sly. It helps me forget that it's been too long since I was jogging regularly, and I usually wear sunglasses to keep my baser proclivities to myself.

You are stacked, I like redheads, my sunglasses were missing...you see where this is going.

Anyway, I must congratulate you on getting your young companion to to run completely concealed behind you, only to emerge at what was, for me, the worst possible time.

Do you practice that? It must be the best ogle-stopper in the business.

I swear, when she popped out from behind you, my libido panicked and imploded in about a nanosecond, and it took effort not to loose a cry of "Dirty pool!"

Well played, MILF.


On a side note, any mention of Audubon Park will forever remind me of Randy Newman's song, "New Orleans Wins The War," which describes his childhood spent in that city before moving back to Los Angeles.

Momma used to take me to Audubon Park
Show me the ways of the world
Here comes a white boy; there goes a black one
That one's an octoroon
This little cookie here's a macaroon
That big round thing's a red balloon
And the paper down here's called the Picayune
And here's a New Orleans tune:
Baby baby baby baby baby baby baby..."


Music Video Of The Day: Mustache

From comedian CZ Gordon, creator and narrator (as "Randall") of the honey badger and other wildlife spoof vids that are en fuego on teh intrawebz right now.


2010's Biggest Wastes Of Acting Talent

Fourteen movies last year that wasted good actors in thankless roles. From IFC.com.

ELLEN PAGE - Inception


Take a look at the Inception page on IMDb and find memorable quotes for Ellen Page's character, Ariadne. They're all questions. "Why is it so important to dream?" "Why wouldn't I wake up?" "Why can't you go home?" "Whose subconscious are we going through exactly?" And on and on. Page plays the film's dream architect, the person responsible for designing the worlds the rest of the characters travel through in their sleep. But really, she is the audience surrogate who stands around looking confused and asking questions. But for all her architectural genius, Ariadne's a bit of a dim bulb, and that makes her a bad case of miscasting for Page.

JEMAINE CLEMENT - Dinner for Schmucks

Apparently Jemaine Clement just decided at some point during the production of Dinner For Schmucks that he was going to be in a different movie than the rest of the characters. Or it could be a byproduct of the rangy direction by Jay Roach, which allowed fellow cast members Zach Galifianakis and Lucy Punch to let their freak flags fly as the "schmucks" recruited by Paul Rudd's corporate climber for his boss' dinner of shame. Still, in a movie that was set up to be a circus, Clement's wild, animal-loving conceptual artist Kieran Vollard feels like an elephant in the room, and he takes a backseat in Schmucks to the less interesting Rudd, Steve Carell and Galifianakis.

JET LI - The Expendables

After decades of success, an accomplished action star like Jet Li shouldn't have to play second fiddle to anyone, let alone third banana to Sylvester Stallone in a ludicrous vanity project like The Expendables. Whatever time writer/director Stallone had planned to devote to Li's character got lost along the way, since his embarrassingly named "Yin Yang" gets even less face time and dialogue than stunt casting cameo-ers Dolph Lundgren and Mickey Rourke. While Lundgren and Rourke look like they're having a grand old time, Li looks like he's engaged in a constant struggle to choke back a yawn. But can you blame him? If only Stallone had developed Yin Yang half as carefully as he developed his brachioradialis muscles, the part might have been worth Li's talents.

LIZZY CAPLAN - 127 Hours

Lizzy Caplan should have some genuine gripes about what went down in 2010. After the cancellation of her IFC series "Party Down," Caplan saw her unique wit and verve lavished on the thankless role of the rock journalist who captures John Cusack's heart in
Hot Tub Time Machine and then appeared in the wordless role of Aron Ralston's sister in 127 Hours. One can't blame Caplan for wanting to work with Danny Boyle, but she appears for mere seconds in one of Aron's hallucinations when he's trapped between boulders. For those that love her, Caplan's brief appearance almost works because you instantly empathize with Aron for wanting to see more of her. Then again, that's also the problem.

JACK NICHOLSON - How Do You Know?

Blame Bill Murray for this one. Murray was originally cast in James L. Brooks' comedy as the father and boss of Paul Rudd's businessman, whose corporate malfeasance has landed his son in hot water. However, shortly after rehearsals started, Murray who famously receives nearly all his communiqué via a mailbox dropped out during rehearsals for reasons that were. in Brooks' words, "clinically personal." Enter Jack Nicholson, Brooks' friend of over 30 years, to help him out in a pinch. Unfortunately, Nicholson steps into a role that clearly was written for Murray as sly, oblivious and slightly uncomfortable. And Jack can't help but be Jack, which makes the supporting role seem beneath him, especially since he never forges a real chemistry with Rudd as his son.

MAX VON SYDOW - The Wolfman

Before you ask where Max Von Sydow was in the failed redo of
The Wolfman, let me direct you to the film's extended cut on DVD where the legendary actor plays a fellow passenger on a train with Benicio Del Toro's soon-to-be lycanthrope Lawrence Talbot. On the page, the scene is a throwaway and was ultimately cut because director Joe Johnston believed the audience wanted to get to the Wolfman's transformation quicker. However, Von Sydow's presentation of a cane (hiding a sword) to Talbot offered a nice nod to the original film while suggesting a certain sense of grandeur that comes along with a thespian of Von Sydow's stature. Surely, the filmmakers knew this, otherwise they wouldn't have dragged the 80-year-old actor out for nothing. But in trying to make a film for everyone, they pleased no one, and insulted one of the world's finest actors in the process.


(See Cillian Murphy, Liam Neeson, Alia Shawkat, Greg Kinnear and the rest of the list at IFC.com)

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Fugitive FAIL Of The Day

And she would've gotten away with it too if it hadn't been for those meddling heels. And a couple of other big ol' things in her way.

From The Smoking Gun.



Woman Chased By Cops Jumps From Moving Car, Hides In Bushes

Meet Christine Stroh.

The North Dakota motorist, 21, was being pursued early Saturday by a highway patrolman when she allegedly decided to bolt her moving 1998 Pontiac Sunfire and make a run for it. Which likely came as a surprise to Stroh’s two passengers, who were still in the car when it crashed into a snowbank.

According to an affidavit sworn by Trooper Jeremy Rost, Stroh “then fled on foot to a nearby evergreen tree.” She “was laying in the thick evergreen trees and refused to come out,” added Rost.

But when Stroh, pictured in the above mug shot, heard the approaching sound of police sirens, she attempted to flee on foot.

The suspect, though, “lost her high heels and was running bare foot on the ice. The female slipped on ice and was taken into custody.”

A subsequent Breathalyzer test revealed Stroh’s blood alcohol content to be .177, more than twice the legal limit.

So, along with reckless endangerment, fleeing, and driving under suspension, Stroh was hit with a drunk driving rap.

Instructional Vid Of The Day: How To Write A Love Song

Good stuff from the aptly named Axis Of Awesome ("4 Chords") and Funny Or Die.


FOLOTD Prom Photos Of The Day

Get a load of you.

Those of you who wanted your dates' faces obscured get a special treat.

If you want to add your photo to the hilarity, send it to me (listofthday@yahoo.com).



Wendy & The Duckman



Heidi Renée, the night of her first threesome



Peggy and David Cross (pre-hair loss)


Tink and a guy from Toto


Amy G. and Jon Bon J.


Amy A.


The Courteous Chihuahua & Clay Aiken



Jody Z.


Woodwoman
(whose prom was held at the kindergarten)


Christy & Jack McBrayer


Daisy Duck



Leigh, lost in the forest, forgot to drop bread crumbs


Sylvia's mother said, "Never trust a boy in white shoes." (Later she would tell him, "Sylvia's busy.")


Tracy, her hair, and her date


Lindsey & Lord Foppy McFauntleroy



Chrocs, snapped on her way to the loo


LVGurl, with a wrist corsage that weighed more than she did


Molly's Mom & Charlie Sheen



Rich Girl Red in a chair that looks really comfy

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