Monday, September 27, 2010

Dumbass Of The Day

D'oh! But he looks so intelligent. From The Smoking Gun.

Minor Iowa Arrest Makes Headlines

SEPTEMBER 27--Meet David Jonathan Winkelman.

The Iowa man, 48, was arrested Thursday night by Davenport cops on a warrant for failing to appear in court to answer a misdemeanor charge of operating a motor vehicle without the owner’s consent, according to a jail booking sheet.

But enough about Winkelman’s criminal entanglements, it’s his forehead tattoo that is worth further discussion. Winkelman is pictured at right in a mug shot snapped after his bust last week (click to enlarge).

Winkelman became a human billboard for the radio station KORB in late-2000 after a disc jockey offered listeners a six-figure payout if they tattooed the FM station’s call letters and logo on their forehead. Winkelman and his stepson, Richard Goddard, went to a local tattoo parlor and each emerged with forehead ink promoting “93 Rock,” the “Quad City Rocker.”

Of course, when the men came calling for the cash, station brass explained that the offer was a practical joke, just a wacky radio stunt. Winkelman and his relative sued, claiming that the station sought to have listeners permanently marked so that they “could be publicly scorned and ridiculed for their greed and lack of common good sense." (like on blogs and stuff?)

"Within months of the lawsuit’s filing, Winkelman dismissed his complaint against the DJ and Cumulus Broadcasting, KORB’s owner. Goddard’s case was later dismissed by a judge when he failed to appear for court proceedings.

Since Winkelman got the tattoo KORB’s format and call letters have changed. The former hard rock station is now known as KQCS, Star 93.5. The adult contemporary station advertises itself as playing “Today’s Best Variety!"

Pu**y Of The Day (vid)

Good god, man, grow a pair and HTFU. You're as bad as the fat kid with Aunt Janice.

News Story Of The Day: Evidence Suggests God Had Busty Daughter

From The Onion and Siress Yorkie.

New Evidence Suggests God Also Had Incredibly Busty Daughter

ARABAH VALLEY, ISRAEL—In a discovery that biblical scholars say could alter our most fundamental understanding of Christianity, recently unearthed manuscripts suggest that in addition to His Son, Jesus Christ, God also had a daughter with absolutely humongous breasts.

Scholars say Tammi of Nazareth may have been a major religious figure nearly two millennia before the bra was invented.

The documents, found in a cave near the Jordanian- Israeli border and estimated to have been composed circa A.D. 200, recount the life, teachings, and death of Jesus' well-endowed twin sister, Tammi of Nazareth. According to experts, the revelation points to a more dualistic conception of the divine, one with the male principle embodied in Jesus and the female principle represented by Tammi and her giant, heaving bazoingas.

"It's a monumental shift," said Boston College religion professor Paul Ferber, claiming that the newly discovered texts are more significant than the Gospel of Judas or the Dead Sea Scrolls. "Tammi has single-handedly undercut the male hegemony we've come to associate with the Christian faith, and added an important new dimension to the holy scripture."

"Also, the various sources are in clear agreement that Tammi had the most enormous jugs in all of Galilee," added Ferber, gesturing with his hands."Seriously. Like, out to here."

The existence of Tammi has caused scholars to reexamine the Trinity of the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost, and replace it with a Quadrinity that includes the Daughter figure—though some, including Ferber, argue it should actually be reconstrued as "a five-way Quintinity, counting as two separate divine powers both of Tammi's bodacious watermelons."

(Story continues here at The Onion)

Bad Celebrity Lip Jobs of the Day

Whether you call them "Trout Pouts" or "Duck Faces," some celebrities just need to step away the injectable lip fillers! Here are some of the worst offenders. - Bev

Priscilla Presley

Pete Burns (Who is technically still a dude)

Nikki Cox (Mrs. Jay Mohr-Cox)

Nicole Kidman

Nadia Suleman (OctoCrazy)

Meg Ryan (yes, really!)

Lisa Rinna

Lindsay Lohan

Jessica Simpson

Donatella Versace (AKA Janice the Muppet)

Courtney Love

The late Brittney Murphy

The late Linda Evans (not really but she's close, by the looks of it)

Janice Dickinson

Priscilla Caputo, whoever she is.

Lara Flynn Boiled

Cher (lips are just one small part of her plastic surgery odyssey)

Who'd I miss?

Board Game Of The Day: F.U. (NSFW)

Reminds me of family Monopoly games when I was a kid.


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