Tuesday, July 7, 2009

My Yahoo Answer Of The Day

A replacement for the previous one I posted, which sucked.

News Vid Of The Day: Mexico Builds Border Wall To Keep Out American Assholes

From The Onion, who might want to hire someone who can spell to do their subtitles.

Classic Comedy Movie Scene Of The Day: Night Shift

Great movie, great scene. And, if I'm not mistaken, Ron Howard's first time directing a movie (? although as I type this I seem to recall that he did some kind of car movie. I'm too lazy to look it up). His movies usually bore me but this one was funny despite the weak cast (Keaton was ok, Fonzie was ok, Shelley Long -- meh.)

Oh, and there's Henry Winkler again. Who I like. As long he doesn't fucking sing.

From my pal and yours, TonyRo.

7 Embarrassing Movie Masturbation Scenes Of The Day (NSFW)

From Maxim.com. Feels (heh) like they are leaving some out, but I can't think of any others at the moment. I also don't know why the video looks wonky, but you get the idea.


Busted By: Phoebe Cates, the bikini-clad object of his masturbatory fantasy.

The wank that spawned a million more. No one can blame the guy for cranking one off to Phoebe in a cherry-red bikini. But anyone who's commandeered the tiny Toyota before knows to double-check the lock on the door.


Busted By: The cops, then his roommates

We were never that comfortable bringing K-Y Jelly to the checkout counter, but after this debacle, we've been permanently scared into just using our own tears.


Busted By: His buddy's mom

You have to give him credit for not being afraid to finish, even when it means spray-painting his buddy's mom in China white. Masturbators, bow to your new leader.


Busted By: His date

It was a good idea to clear the pipes before meeting Cameron Diaz for cocktails. It would have been an even better idea to use a sock or Glad bag in the process.


Busted By: A socially awkward dork

It's not often the person doing the catching is more embarrassed than the bustee. Most guys would want to join in, but if you're a nerd like this guy it's probably best to just check your Gmail account.


Busted By: Tommy, his fat, fun-loving sales partner

Being caught in the act? Sucks. Being caught in the act and mercilessly ridiculed by the fatty that struck out just moments earlier with the object of your erection? Suicidal.


Busted By: His wife

While he's usually smart enough to bruise his beef in the privacy of his shower, Lester loses control and wakes his wife with a middle-of-the-night pud-punching. She has reason to be upset, but she could at least let the man finish.

Retro PSA Of The Day: Get High On Yourself

I might've posted this already, but a quick and careless search through my archives revealed no evidence of such.

Two things: the video is from Stephanie, and watching it made me want to hurt somebody, particularly Henry Winkler. And then do some heavy drugs.
So that's three things, really, although listening to Henry Winkler sing and doing drugs is really like 2a and 2b, because they are usually simultaneous. Ayyyyyyyy!

Bad Restaurant Conversions Of The Day

Do these places look familiar? All are from the website, Not Fooling Anybody, "a chronicle of bad conversions and storefronts past."

I'm thinkin' Arby's

"House," I can accept. "Palace" is pushing it.

"Original" Pancake House.. originally a Ponderosa.

Get a bucket o' flattened, chicken-like meat product

I love this one. Pizza Hut in the old Burger King. I wonder if the pizza crust tastes like day-old Whaler buns.

Gee, I wonder what this used to be?

Make a run for the (Canadian) border.

One can only hope that this is an ice cream place now.

This one's in Atlanta. I've seen it. Which reminds me.. I need my car back.

No, the "T" didn't fall off. It was pushed. Sheer brilliance! Who needs new signs when you can just lop off the first letter of the old ones? I wonder if the same owners have other stations called "Hell" or "Moco" or "P"?

If DQ can't make it here, why bother?

That's one way to get teenagers to take test SAT prep classes. Move into an old Pizza Hut.

Want your egg roll regular or extra crispy?

Welcome to Dairy K. Would you like to try a Snowstorm?

A cop station in an old Pizza Hut. They couldn't find an empty Dunkin' Donuts?

Somehow the architecture and the palm trees just don't say Boston to me.

"Can I get a different car? This one smells like -- I dunno -- like fried clam strips."

Long John Gyro's, home of railing and concrete. Must be next door to a nursing home.

Wok-o Bell

There's nothing American about this deli.

Another one here in ATL, and a former Baskin Robbins. Maybe they thought "Basket Rabbit" was close enough to fool the unobservant.

Yeah, that looks just like Philly.

All these empty Taco Bells, and John picks a Wendy's?

An addition from The Courteous Chihuahua.


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