Friday, June 5, 2009

Classic TV Show Open Of The Day: Supertrain

Anyone else remember this? A landlubber's "Love Boat" with even more suck, believe it or not.

I remember watching it just once with my family. At the first commercial break, my dad told me to get up and change the channel (Remote? What's that?).

"Why?" I asked. "I wanna watch it." I was 14 or so; my job was to be a pain in the ass, and I was a master of my craft.

"It's shit," Dad said. "Turn it." He rarely swore, so it must've really sucked.

"But I wanna see what happens."

He gave me The Look, one I saw often: that icy glare of homicidal intent.


So I bitched and moaned and sighed and moped over to the TV and changed it to one of the other four channels so we could watch some other brand of shit. Like "Apple's Way" or "Manimal."

"You would argue with a wall," he'd say to me.

"No, I wouldn't!"

Top 10 Rock 'n' Rollers Under 5'8"

Say hello to my little friends. Does it matter that they're short? Of course not. Most of these dudes rock out with their cocks out (even if they are wee).

List and copy by Shawn Amos on Yahoo's

"The world's a cruel place for a short dude. Barred from basketball, left off firefighter shortlists, and unable to ride Space Mountain, his life is a never-ending "you must be this tall to ride" sign.

Music is the only place a short dude can go for salvation. While most athletic teams, branches of the armed forces, and theme parks have height requirements, bands do not. A 5-foot-tall dude may never be starting guard for the Lakers, but there's nothing preventing him from shredding a solo at Madison Square Garden. He may get overlooked at the McDonald's counter trying to order a Happy Meal, but he's always 10 feet tall on the JumboTron."

PRINCE (5' 2")

One of the most diminutive musicians around, Prince makes up for his height by wearing high heels, playing every instrument on his recordings, and making sure none of his women are taller than him - and wear flats.


The 54-year-old AC/DC guitarist has played the instrument since he was five. And he's dressed in a schoolboy uniform the whole time. It's the perfect way to get people to ignore your adolescent height: just dress like a kid.

PAUL SIMON (5' 3")

Simon and his duo partner, Art Garfunkel, have famously feuded for more than 40 years. Some say the tension was caused by Garfunkel's acting career. Others say it was Art's jealousy of Simon's solo success. I say it's Simon being overshadowed by a dude who's 6 feet tall - 6 feet 5 inches with the Jewfro.


Dio sings so loudly and looks so satanic that no one would notice his elfin height. That is, unless you paid attention to some of those early band names, like Electric Elves and Elf. Those were unfortunate.

THOM YORKE (5' 5-1/4")

The Radiohead singer's height is overshadowed by another physical trait: his left eye, which was closed shut at birth. Yorke underwent five operations by the time he was six to correct it. He was left with a drooping eyelid.


The former Johnny Cougar fits the profile of an angry short dude. He was arrested at age eight for breaking and entering, started his first band at 14, and lost a college job for using profanity. To complicate the theory, though, his wife is supermodel Elaine Irwin, who stands at 5 feet 11 inches.


Within The Who, Daltrey had a reputation for quickly punching anyone who disagreed with him, including the 6-foot-tall Pete Townshend. He also gets around the height issue by swinging his microphone around his head onstage. It adds a couple feet at least.

BOB MARLEY (5' 7")

The Rastaman was proof that big things come in small packages. Marley is as close to a musical deity as you can get. He had a sound and a message that transcended mere mortals. And with his lion's mane of dreadlocks, you'd think you were standing in front of a giant.

IGGY POP (5' 7-1/2")

Iggy's bare-chested stage antics distract from any height issues his fans may possess. Between the self-mutilation, stage-diving, and self-exposure, who's counting inches (no pun intended)?

BONO (5' 7-1/2")

Bono is the classic overachiever. He's determined to be in the biggest rock band in the world, save said world, and receive all of its accolades (he's the only person to be nominated for an Academy Award, Golden Globe, Grammy, and Nobel Peace Prize). If the dude was 6 feet 1 inches tall, we wouldn't know who he is.

Celebrity Tweet Of The Day

OMG! ICE CREAM!! If you see Kirstie Alley coming, get the F out of her way or you'll be trampled like a Who fan.

Not that I wouldn't do the same damn thing if it were banana splits instead of root beer floats. But I'm not as dangerous as Kirstie.

From Twitter via Buzzfeed.

Vid Of The Day: Baby Ball

From The Onion. Because sometimes you're gonna have to throttle it.

(Btw, it's a parody, ok? Don't shake your baby. It's not good for them. I was shaken and look how I turned out. I know, right? Thank you.)


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