Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Vid Of The Day: Monkey Business (NSFW)

That's when I slam the brakes.

Craigslist Ad Of The Day: Left-Handed Hammer

Drugs. Shitloads of 'em.

From Mighty Joe Stankowski.

Left Handed Hammer - $20

Reply to:sale-dtazj-1195804206@craigslist.org
Date: 2009-05-29, 7:45PM EDT

Works like a right handed but does half-gainers.

Goes by the name of Floyd.

Likes to sleep in til 10 AM but then wakes up and works fine.

Floyd likes squashing bugs and hitting nails.

Floyd is not a very good swimmer and does not know how to ride a bike. However he does know how to drive things like nails.

Floyd has an attitude problem and sometimes wakes up all the other tools in the middle of the night. Sometimes they have square dance parties and rearrange themselves before I get to the tool room. So Floyd has been voted out of the toolbox by mr. and mrs. screwdriver for waking up all their little philips children.

Mr. saw says, and I quote "I am tired of being hit on my 300 teeth at 2 O'clock in the morning by clumsy Floyd".

image 1195804206-0

9 Great Final Roles Of The Day

From Maxim.com. How could they forget McLean Stevenson in "Hello, Larry"?

9. Oliver Reed

Last Role: Proximo in Gladiator (2000)

This notoriously hard-living Brit died during filming of the Academy Award–winning movie, in which he played badass gladiator trainer Proximo. But at least he went out like he lived — Reed kicked it after attempting to out-drink a group of Maltese sailors in a bar.

8. John Ritter

Last Role: Bob Chipeska in Bad Santa (2003)

The all-American good guy passed away before the release of Santa, which is twice the shame, because the pitch-black comedy featured one of his best performances. As mousy mall manager Bob, Ritter showed he was more than pratfalls. Check out the visible queasiness on his face as he describes Santa Willie's anal adventures.

7. Brandon Lee

Last Role: Eric Draven in The Crow (1994)

His accidental death (a malfunctioning prop gun took him out during filming) added an eerie dimension to this tale of a murdered musician's resurrection as a goth superhero, but it doesn't overshadow the fact that Lee had the right mix of brooding and badassery to pull it all together.

6. Marilyn Monroe

Last Role: Roslyn Taber in The Misfits (1961)

Everyone was drunk, on drugs, or on the verge of a breakdown while filming The Misfits, but you can't overlook its impressive list of credits (director John Huston, writer Arthur Miller, Clark Gable, Montgomery Clift). Monroe was on her way to ditching the ditzy blonde typecast as a depressed divorcée, but was dead from a drug overdose a year after finishing the movie.

5. John Cazale

Last Role: Stan in The Deer Hunter (1978)

The man with the most impressive (though tragically short) résumé in movie history was destined to go out on a high note. Cazale appeared in The Godfather, The Godfather Part II, The Conversation, Dog Day Afternoon, and The Deer Hunter before passing — cramming more amazing films into six years than most actors do in 50.

4. Nancy Marchand

Last Role: Livia Soprano on "The Sopranos" (2000)

Who says the Sopranos is nothing but a macho brodeo? The late Ms. Marchand had more balls than Tony's entire crew. (Who else would put a hit out on her own son?) And it's a testament to her endearing pissiness that the show's quality declined noticeably after her passing.

3. Peter Finch

Last Role: Howard Beale in Network (1976)

Finch passed away while doing press for Network (in which he played infamously "mad as hell" news anchor Beale), was nominated posthumously for Best Actor, and won. He remains the only actor to ever win a posthumous Oscar, and the first Aussie to snag it, too.

2. Burgess Meredith

Last Role: Grandpa Gustafson in Grumpier Old Men (1995)

OK, so the movie isn't great, but there's no denying that even as advancing age was taking its toll on ol' Mick, Meredith steals the movie, the film cannisters it was stored in, and your wallet while you watched it. His crusty old perv routine was classic, and his one-liners are still funnier than anything Mike Myers has shat out lately.

1. Heath Ledger

Last Role: The Joker in The Dark Knight (2008)

Before you write, "What about the Terry Gilliam movie he was filming when he died?" we say: "Don't count your Gilliam movies until they've hatched. They tend to fall apart faster than Britney Spears' sobriety plans." As it is, Ledger's jaw-dropping turn as iconic Bat villain the Joker stands as an awe-inspiring memorial.


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