Friday, May 9, 2008

In My Junk Mail Folder

"Asian shemales playing" - As tempting as this is, I'm going to pass.

"Give your wife something to work with"
- Good idea. She really wants a miter saw.

"Claim your Olive Garden gift card NOW"
- No thanks, we have plenty of ketchup and macaroni at home.

"Coed in glasses gets f*cked while riding on top of c*ck"
- From the Department of Redundancy Department

"You are very beautiful, carymc!"
- Thanks. I've always thought so.

"Japanese gal having the blowjob"
- All your penis are belong to us.

"Couple poking action"
- I'm seeing fireplace tools.

"Which pack of cigarettes do you prefer?"
- The pack that is smoked as far away from me as possible

"Someone wants to date you"
- I know. I drive by them on the boulevard and they all say, "Hey baby, want a date?"

"$1000 Target gift card for carymc"
- I'm listening...

"Bionic fish finder finds the fish for you"
- Because the sound of a bionic fish is unmistakable.

"A pizza lover babe f*cked by two delivery man"
- After she ate her pizza, of course. I mean, if she's truly a pizza lover babe and not a poser.

"3 FREE bottles of MAN XL"
- Man XL = Budweiser 40 oz.

"Notice: 3 days 2 nights in Las Vegas is pending"
- Pending you not being dead, broke or in jail after the first night.

"Rough sex for nice granny"
- Yes, but Granny likes it rough.

"Carymc find an easy lay tonight"
- Right. There's no such thing. Not even in my own house.

"Win a 58" HDTV from Xerox"
- I bet the ink cartridges for that are sky high.

"Get crazy bonus! Call today!" - Nah, I'm good on crazy. Thanks, though.

Weirdness Of The Day

This beast just appeared in my driveway. I heard him gobble-gobbling long before I saw him -- they are loud. And then there he was, so I had to get a picture.

I've seen them on the street before, actually. They usually travel in pairs, a tom and a hen. I'm told a bunch of them live wild in a nearby forest. Every few months or so they will venture out and walk down our busy street, where cars slam on brakes and drivers do double-takes and laugh.

No big deal for you farm dwellers, I suppose, but this is big doin's for us city folk.

He kept sniffing (?) the back bumper of my car. Maybe he smells the dead body in the trunk.

I gobble-gobbled at him. He turned, stretched out his neck, then started to saunter my way. I decided I didn't want whatever he was bringing -- be it turkey love or an eye-clawing -- so I made a rapid retreat.

Off he goes across my neighbor's yard, and he's still over there, so here's my question: are those things good eating? If so, I just found my dinner.

Heidi-Renee's turkeys, as mentioned in her comment. Wow. I haven't seen that many turkeys in one place since I left the corporate world. BA DA BING! Ah-cha-cha! Thank you. I'm here all month.

Eastwood's Greatest Hits

A series of goofy music videos that we (Spinderfella, Mrs. Spinderfella and I) made for the annual Clint Eastwood marathon at TBS years ago. We'd promoted these movies so many times already, we decided to do something a little different (and cheesy). They're short, so I'm posting them all.

A Fistful of Dollars

Hang 'em High

Dirty Harry

For A Few Dollars More

Magnum Force

Escape From Alcatraz

Two Mules For Sister Sara

Kelly's Heroes

The Enforcer


The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

High Plains Drifter

Coogan's Bluff


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