Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Contrite Teenager Of The Day

"What will you say to your parents when you see them?"

"Uh. Sorry?"

QOTD: What's Your "Different Drum"?

I'm curious. What's one movie, TV show, CD, book, song, whatever, that everyone seems to love but you hate?

I'll go first.

I cannot stand the movie Reservoir Dogs. I found it boring and vile. Yeah, yeah, Tarantino is the greatest filmmaker of all time.. whatever. Overrated.

I don't like Dave Matthews Band. I like Dave himself -- he seems like a good guy, and I liked him in Because Of Winn-Dixie. I can appreciate that he and his band are talented musicians. I just don't like their style of music or Dave's singing.

(My wife likes to play DMB when we ride in her car. She's cruel like that. But I always return the favor in my car with either Rush or Zeppelin.. her two favorites. Or, if I'm feeling really sadistic.. Styx. Heh heh. I'm cruel like that.)

Your turn. Don't be shy.

Darwin Awards Candidates Of The Day

My amiga Miellyn just sent me this. I like these guys' chances for next year's awards.

12 Men Who Look Like Old Lesbians

Hilarity from Their list features 25; read it HERE. Link from Spinderfella - thanks.

Take a man. Add eye work, unisex glasses and Botox. Mix in a bad haircut or unfashionably long hair--if possible, a dye job. A little doughy-ness doesn't hurt, either. Have a weakness for turtlenecks and by all means fight aging like it's a battle you can win if you try just a little harder, and there you have it: The winning formula to become a man who looks like an old lesbian.

Al Franken

He Is: Writer. Rush Limbaugh tormentor.
Looks Like
: The art director of Lands' End catalog.

Robert Redford

He Is: Actor. Director.
Looks Like
: The head of Women's Studies at Community College of Denver.

Warren Beatty

He Is: Actor. Director. Former BFF of Carly Simon.
Looks Like
: The famed foe of Bobby Riggs.

Kyle MacLachlan

He Is: Actor known for his work with David Lynch and Elizabeth Berkley.
Looks Like
: A manager of a website about two pet dogs.

Masi Oka

He Is: Actor. Time Magazine whiz kid. Reported I.Q. of 180 (same as cast of Carpoolers).
Looks Like
: The author of a paper stating sex with a man is, by definition, a hate crime.

Dana Carvey

He Is: Comic. Actor. Drummer. Impersonator of the President Bush with more successful foreign policy.
Looks Like
: The runner of a rescue service for emotionally abused cats.

Rick James

He Was: Musician. Famously sampled funk legend. Fan of hair extensions. Troubled individual.
Looks Like: A person who reportedly married lesbian comic who goes by the single name "Margaret."

Tim Robbins

He Is: Actor. Writer. Tall person. Compulsive do-gooder in a less-crazy-than-Sean-Penn way.
Looks Like
: Winner of 12 straight division wins as coach of Florida Gators women's volleyball team in the late 1970s and early 80s.

Mike Nichols

He Is: Writer. Director. Comic. Long-time partner to morning news show anchor Diane Sawyer. Directed Angels in America and Catch-22.
Looks Like
: Director of four episodes of The L Word.

Ricky Gervais

He Is: Comic. Writer. Actor. Creator of the hugely popular The Office and the somewhat less popular Extras.
Looks Like: Someone who moved to Aleutian Islands with social worker partner and is studying to be a priest in the Anglican Church.

Kim Jong-il

He Is: Leader of North Korea.
Looks Like: A Lea-DeLaria-impersonating soccer mom.

Bruce Jenner

He Is: An old lesbian.
Looks Like: An old lesbian. With bad plastic surgery.

Crackhead For Christ Video Of The Day

Forgive me. I know this one's semi-ancient but by gawd it still makes me laugh. Every time I see it, I expect a Giant Hand to reach down from the sky and snatch the mic away from him. Don't miss the big finish.

Many thanks to Willie, Lynn, TheMovieGuru and whoever else sent this to me.


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