Monday, November 26, 2007

Commercial Of The Day

From the incomparable Heder. Mr. T rules!

Bad Cookbook Title of The Day

Funny sh*t (pun intended) from Tom K.

Unhappy Sports Fan Of The Day

LOTD fan BW sends this audio of a phone message from a slightly perturbed baseball fan who called a cable TV channel to complain about the game not being aired the particular night.

Click the pic to listen. But you might want to use headphones, as it's full of bad language.

50 Worst Artists in Music History, #35-50


Everything bad about the ’60s, in one easy-to-avoid package
Legend has it that this Los Angeles acid-rock quintet had consumed such massive amounts of marijuana during the 1968 sessions for “In the Garden of Eden” that keyboardist-singer Doug Ingle could only mumble the title. Hence, “In-a-Gadda-da-Vida” was born, and its unexpurgated 17-minute version (including a two-and-a- half-minute drum solo) inaugurated the dubious era of free-form FM radio.
Appalling fact In-a-Gadda-da-Vida was the first LP ever to be certified platinum.
Worst CD Sun and Steel (MCA, 1975)

Toad the Wet Sprocket49 TOAD THE WET SPROCKET
Very poor name. Even poorer band
“We were together longer than we ever thought we’d be,” said Toad the Wet Sprocket singer Glenn Phillips when the band gave up in 1998. Longer than the rest of us had hoped, too. But the California four-piece defied the odds for 12 years, even piercing the Top 40 with their R.E.M. readymades.
Appalling fact Toad decided to have another go this year, playing dates with Counting Crows. Run.
Worst CD Pale (Columbia, 1990)

Master P48 MASTER P
The dumbest of the Dirty South
In the late ’90s, rapper and label head Percy Miller copycatted G-funk, simplified it and launched a fleet of indistinguishable MCs wrapped in cheap-looking, jewel-riddled artwork. P’s worst offense was his solo work (his obnoxious breakout single, “Make Em Say Ugh,” consisted of little more than a repeated groan). Like a crawfish-suckin’ P. Diddy, he has, shockingly, earned millions from his No Limit imprint, which includes a clothing line, a publishing house — and even a phone company.
Appalling fact Master P had a Ferrari custom-painted in a Gucci-logo pattern.
Worst CD Only God Can Judge Me (No Limit, 1999)

Goo Goo Dolls47 GOO GOO DOLLS
Mediocre band, woeful balladeers
Buffalo, New York’s Goo Goo Dolls are former garage-rockers who, since their 1995 acoustic hit “Name,” have successfully flogged a pallid brand of Bon Jovi–lite “rock.” “Iris,” their smash 1998 weepie, gives power ballads a bad name.
Worst CD Gutterflower (Warner Bros., 2002)

The Spin Doctors46 THE SPIN DOCTORS
Beards. Extended “jams.” Oh dear, oh dear
For a brief time (between 1992 and 1996), it seemed that any workaday bar band, if it was willing to gamely trek around the country for at least three years, had a chance at superstardom (cf. Hootie and the Blowfish, Blues Traveler). Blame the Spin Doctors, hairy New Yorkers who — thanks to the supremely annoying “Little Miss Can’t Be Wrong” and “Two Princes” — momentarily opened a route between dive bars and the Billboard charts.
Appalling fact The Doctors got together while they were students at New York’s New School of Jazz.
Worst CD Homebelly Groove Live (Epic, 1992)

Gipsy Kings45 GIPSY KINGS
The curse of many a late-’80s dinner party
Having grown up on the French-Spanish border, the six cousins who formed Gipsy Kings craftily aspired to sell their mixture of flamenco, Eurotrash pop and questionable hairdos to a world desperate for something seemingly exotic. They seduced the über-rich at St. Tropez before hitching their wagon to the then-huge world-music boom, diluting the flamenco with drums, bass and even synthesizers. Soon, they became the Muzak in every bistro in the free world.
Appalling fact Well-known groover George H.W. Bush was so fond of the Gipsy Kings that he asked them to perform at his inaugural presidential ball. For some reason, they declined.
Worst CD Este Mundo (Elektra, 1991)

Manowar44 MANOWAR
None more metal. None more gay
An American answer to Judas Priest and Iron Maiden, Rochester, New York’s Manowar embody every conceivable heavy-metal cliché: Bodybuilders all, the four wear leather and animal pelts onstage; singer Eric Adams shrieks only of death, warfare and the glory of metal; Joey DeMaio performs solo bass renditions of “The Flight of the Bumblebee.” They’re quite possibly the most ludicrous people in rock & roll history.
Appalling fact In 1993, Russian youth voted Manowar above the Beatles and Michael Jackson as the act they would most like to see perform live.
Worst CD Sign of the Hammer (EMI, 1985)

Mike & the Mechanics43 MIKE & THE MECHANICS
“Every generation blames the one before,” they sang. So we will
While Phil Collins was torturing the world with his archetypal ’80s soft-rock, his Genesis colleague Mike Rutherford unwisely decided to join in. Ergo the Mechanics, a trio built around Rutherford, former Squeeze vocalist-keyboardist Paul Carrack and the late Paul Young. As shown by the 1989 number 1 hit “The Living Years,” an unbearably sentimental ode to Rutherford’s deceased father, they made Collins sound like the MC5.
Appalling fact Against significant odds, there is a U.K.-based Mike & the Mechanics tribute band, the Living Years.
Worst CD Beggar on a Beach of Gold (Virgin, 1995)

Rick Wakeman42 RICK WAKEMAN
Can play two synthesizers at once — but nothing that people want to hear
Keyboard “wizard” and professional cape wearer Wakeman’s diabolical taste revealed itself early, when he elected to join prog-rockers Yes instead of David Bowie’s backing band, the Spiders From Mars. Not content with contributing to Yes’s inexcusably pompous albums, he also spent the mid-’70s releasing a series of baroquely awful solo theme records, including The Myths and Legends of King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table. For reasons that are still unclear, he opted to perform that one on ice.
Appalling fact While playing Yes songs live, Wakeman would wolf down curry during sections in which he had little to do.
Worst CD Lisztomania (A&M, 1975)

Whitesnake41 WHITESNAKE
Dumb and dumberer
Led by ex–Deep Purple frontman David Coverdale, Whitesnake’s ’80s success with their karaoke Led Zeppelin routine can be explained only by the public’s enduring love for the double entendre, as exemplified on such songs as “Slide It In,” “Slow Poke Music” and “Spit It Out.”
Worst CD Slip of the Tongue (Geffen, 1989)

A video made them; heroin undid them
Led by Axl Rose’s mewling, drug-plagued pal Shannon Hoon, Blind Melon’s lightweight rock would have been forgotten completely were it not for the boundless charm of “Bee Girl” Heather DeLoach, whose hoofing in the video for “No Rain” made the tune the band’s lone hit.
Worst CD Soup (Capitol, 1995)

Should have stuck to saving the planet
He organized the Live Aid concerts, but “Saint” Bob Geldof is a less-than-godlike musical talent. In 1989, he released The Vegetarians of Love, a terrible quasi-Cajun album that was recorded in five days — and sounded like it. Thirteen years later came Sex, Age & Death, effectively a midlife crisis — replete with achingly embarrassing claims of undiminished sexual potency — set to music. Like most of his solo work, it stiffed.
Appalling fact One recent Geldof song, “10:15,” features the line “She told me I was beautiful/And I made her come a lot.”
Worst CD Sex, Age & Death (Koch, 2002)

38 (Blender left off 38, so I choose...) TOBY KEITH
Angry hillbilly who wants to put a boot in your ass

Lyrics from his song, "Courtesy Of The Red, White and Blue": "Justice will be served and the battle will rage/This big dog will fight when you rattle his cage/And you'll be sorry that you messed with The U.S. of A./'Cause we'll put a boot in your ass; it's the American way."

He was the Lizard King. No, really…
While in college, many young men still choose to immerse themselves in such ill-advised subjects as Nietzsche, black magic and Native American folklore. Most get over it; Jim Morrison, unfortunately, inflicted his terminally adolescent views on the wider world. The consequences included overblown screeds of nonsense such as “The End” and “The Crystal Ship,” plus, effectively, the invention of goth. Then he got fat and died.
Appalling fact Morrison is widely believed to have suffered his fatal heart attack while masturbating in the bathtub.
Worst CD The Soft Parade (Elektra, 1969)

Well, their mothers must love them
“I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll make an exception,” quipped Groucho Marx. He’d have been hard-pressed to remember this utterly unremarkable Ohio boy band, though he would have loved to have forgotten their music. Harmonies, schmaltzy urban soul and even more saccharine life philosophy (“Persevere, work hard, have faith and eventually you’ll reach your goal”) paid dividends in the late ’90s, as third-rate cheese such as “I Do (Cherish You)” and “Because of You” somehow became big hits.
Appalling fact Buy the 98 Degrees official board game — and find out which band member once autographed a diaper!
Worst CD This Christmas (Uptown/ Universal, 1999)

Hey, Mr. DJ: Keep your day job!
As a remixer of note, “Oakey” is lauded for turning the guitar-loving masses into Ecstasy-aware, sodden-shirted neophytes of ’90s dance music. But 2002’s Bunkka, the Englishman’s first album of original material, was an abject exercise in marketing, not music. Ham-fisted and clichéd, lacking direction and sparkle, nothing Oakenfold created himself would have inspired any DJs worth a lick. Dreadful.
Appalling fact Perry Farrell, Tricky, Ice Cube and Nelly Furtado all lined up to contribute to Bunkka. Presumably without hearing the music first.
Worst CD Bunkka (Maverick/Warner Bros., 2002)


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