Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Classic TV Show Open of The Day

Never missed it, although I liked The Brady Bunch better.

Worst Casting Decisions Ever

From Maxim.

Kevin Costner - Robin Hood: Prince Of Thieves
Charisma and an English accent is all Robin Hood has going for him. So when you strip those away, you get nothing but a shitty Renaissance Fair in movie form. Alan Rickman had to overact enough for six movies just to make this pile releasable in theaters.

Adam Sandler - The Longest Yard

There is no way in hell that a guy who looks like Adam Sandler ever played professional football, and we're including NFL Europe, the Canadian Football League, and Tecmo Super Bowl for Nintendo.

Elisabeth Shue - Leaving Las Vegas
A woman who earns her living the hard way on the Strip looks more like Nick Nolte in a weave than Ms. Clean. Even by the standards of the "movie prostitute" (you know: hot, disease-free, only turned two or three tricks before meeting the hero), Elisabeth fails to convince on any level. It's a shame, 'cause we totally buy Nic Cage as a drunken loser.

Leonardo DiCaprio/Cameraon Diaz - Gangs Of New York
Two for one! Yes, sometimes even a great director like Martin Scorsese can screw the casting pooch. Leo's done some fine work for the furry little director, but Gangs was not it. If it were real life, Bill the Butcher would have been wearing his pelt as suspenders within five minutes of meeting him. And Cameron? If we knew poor street urchin pickpockets were 5-foot-8½-inch ex-models, we would've stayed awake during history.

Sofia Coppola - The Godfather, Part III
Apparently, she knew the director. Mary Corleone is supposed to be so irresistibly hot her own cousin is obsessed with popping her gnocchi. Now take a good long look at Sofia. She's a handsome…woman?

Denise Richards - The World Is Not Enough
When you think "world's top nuclear physicist," you naturally think of belly shirts, pouty lips, and a rack you couldn't take your eyes off of if your shirt caught fire. Even in the world of James Bond, this is beyond a stretch.

Michael J. Fox - Casualties Of War
If you slathered Michael J. Fox in honey and dragged him through loose gravel there still wouldn't be an ounce of grittiness to him. So pitting him as a psychologically tortured Vietnam vet is like having Colonel Kurtz from Apocalypse Now played by John Candy.

Judd Nelson - New Jack City

Every time you see Judd's "loose cannon" vice cop, he's halfway hidden behind the Asian guy or Ice-T's bumba clot Rasta cap, delivering one of his three lines. He's a big 0–3 when it comes to this role's minimum requirement: Judd doesn't look tough, streetwise, or Italian. Not. Even. Close!

Jack Black - King Kong
In order for the events of King Kong to even get off the ground, you've got to believe that the crew of the Venture would follow the hopelessly obsessed but still charismatic film director Carl Denham into the darkest reaches of the uncharted world. Unless Kong is being played by Kyle Gass in a hair suit, there's no chance we're buying this.

Vince Vaughn - Psycho
Tall, handsome, quick with a one-liner, and smooth with the ladies… sounds a lot like Norman Bates, huh? The paranoid, mother-obsessed motel owner should at least look like the kinda creep who talks to dead things and masturbates through holes in the wall. Vaughn just ended up looking like Trent from Swingers with a hangover.


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