Friday, June 8, 2007

Kool-Aid Drinker of the Day

Do you ever find yourself wondering what it might be like to take an ax to someone? How did anyone keep a straight face while listening to this colossal ass-kisser?

(Yeah, I know, this clip isn't exactly new, but most of my 11 readers are drug and alcohol abusers with chronic short-term memory loss.)

Unbelievable But True!

After I posted Seasons In The Sun the other day, a friend reminded me that Terry Jacks committed suicide right after the song was recorded. I mean, minutes after. Right there in the bathroom of the recording studio. Reportedly distraught over his failing music career, Terry did not live to see his final song become a mega-hit. How tragically ironic. Or ironically tragic.

This reminded me of some of the other bizarre celebrity stories I’d heard through the years. I know they’re all true, because other people my age from all over the country heard the same stories.

Once, back in the 70's, Rod Stewart passed out on stage during a concert. He was rushed to the hospital and when they pumped out his stomach, they found like 7-8 quarts of semen in it, more than they'd ever seen before. That's what made Rod (no pun intended) pass out. I guess someone wanted his body and thought he was sexy. A lot of someones. A zip code.

Did you know that Eddie Haskell on Leave It To Beaver was played by none other than... Alice Cooper?! Yep. The show credits list Ken Osmond as the actor, but that was Alice’s real name before he changed it.

Speaking of Alice Cooper, he used to pass around a cup during his concert, and everyone would hock into it, and then he'd take the cup and chug it on stage. True story. My friend's ex-sister-in-law was there once when it happened.

Kind of like how Ozzy Osbourne used to bite the heads off live bats in concert. He had to stop when PETA got wind of it.

Remember Mikey from the Life cereal commercial? "Hey Mikey, he likes it!" Mikey died a few years after that commercial when he ate Pop Rocks candy and drank a Coke at the same time. No one had ever done that before, and the combination killed him instantly. Please - do not drink Coke while eating Pop Rocks.

You know the old song, "Love Rollercoaster" by the Ohio Players, right? About halfway through it there's this really high-pitched scream in the background, but it's not anyone in the band. It's a woman being murdered in the studio at that very moment, caught on tape. No one knew the scream had been caught on tape until they played it back later. Go listen to the song again. Creepy, huh?

Of course we all know about Richard Gere having to go to the ER to get a gerbil extracted from his ass. Some people think the story is BS, but it's not. My friend's aunt was a nurse at the hospital where they brought him. She said he was really cool and even signed autographs for all the ER staff.

Bet you didn't know -- or maybe you did -- that during the recording of "Love To Love You, Baby" by Donna Summer, Donna actually had an orgasm. No, seriously. It happened near the end, where she keeps repeating the title over and over and over like she's in a trance. She was so caught up in the song and the emotion that she just had an orgasm right there on the spot. Like a trooper, though, Donna kept singing.


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