Monday, April 30, 2007

Celebrity brilliance

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life" - Brooke Shields

"The show has enriched and, in some cases, helped save lives. I look forward to the opportunity to continue working on a project that has so much significance to so many." - David Hasselhoff, talking about Baywatch.

"I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada." - Britney Spears

"I don't want to ever, ever do something in life that isn't fun. Ever." - Jennifer Love Hewitt


"I think that the film Clueless was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it's true lightness." - Alicia Silverstone


"I always listen to 'NSYNC's Tearin' Up My Heart. It reminds me to wear a bra." - Britney Spears


“I cried over beauty, I cried over pain, and the other time I cried because I felt nothing. I can’t help it. I’m just a cliché of myself.” - Keanu Reeves


“I can walk into a room and if a man doesn’t look at me, he’s probably gay.”

- Kathleen Turner


"When my friends and family are around me I feel like they're safe . . . When my friends have left me - I've just seen everything collapse. They're not safe without me." - Lindsay Lohan


"All of a sudden you're like the Bin Laden of America. Osama Bin Laden is the only one who knows what I'm going through." - R. Kelly


"I don't really remember the names of the clubs we went to." - Shaquille O'Neal, when asked if he visited the Parthenon during a trip to Greece.

"I find these sorts of polls hindering to my career. I'm an actress, not a sex object, and should be treated as such." - Scarlett Johansson, annoyed at being voted world's most beautiful woman.

"I like most of the places I've been to, but I've never really wanted to go to Japan, simply because I don't like eating fish, and I know that's very popular out there in Africa."
- Britney Spears

"I've learned not to put things in my mouth that are bad for me." - Monica Lewinsky on Larry King Life, discussing weight loss

"Lets get one thing straight. Crack is cheap. I make too much money to ever smoke crack. Lets get THAT straight. Crack is whack." - Whitney Houston

"I’d rather be dead than singing Satisfaction when I’m forty-five." - Mick Jagger

"To me, it's not rocket surgery. It's very simple to put together. And as far as hurt feelings and water under the dam, like what's-her-name says to what's-her-name at the end of the movie 'Chicago' -- 'So what? It's showbiz!' So I definitely see it happening." - David Lee Roth

"Twenty-three is old. It's almost twenty-five, which is, like, almost mid-twenties." - Jessica Simpson

"Why would they do that? Wouldn't they think it was kind of painful? - Anna Nicole Smith on suicide bombers

"I think I am my mom. We're so similar, she even looks like me." - Lindsay Lohan

"I enjoy the company of cattle. I really enjoy knowing them, running my hand over them." - Russell Crowe

"When people wear shoes that don't fit them, it says something about their soul. Generally, I think it means they are good people." - Billy Bob Thornton

Saturday, April 28, 2007

Here's mine, now show me yours

My iTunes favorites playlist, filled with guilty pleasures and old stuff. Let's see yours.

Brighter Than Sunshine - Aqualung
Mr. Brightside - The Killers
Cold Hard Bitch - Jet
Breakaway - Kelly Clarkson
Another Nail In My Heart - Squeeze
Thank U - Alanis Morrisette
Beautiful Freak - Eels
Train In Vain - The Clash
Livin’ Lovin’ Maid - Led Zeppelin
Silver Springs - Fleetwood Mac
My Valentine - Rhett Miller
Changes - Sugar
Mission Responsible - Michael Tolcher
Walk On - U2
Shoot To Thrill - AC/DC
Head Over Heels - Tears For Fears
Muzzle - Smashing Pumpkins
It’s A Shame About Ray - The Lemonheads
The Great Gig In The Sky - Pink Floyd
Agaetis Byrjun - Sigur Ros
Our Love - Rhett Miller
Ain’t Talkin’ ‘bout Love - Van Halen
Blitzkrieg Bop - The Ramones
Unwritten - Natasha Bedingfield
Interstate Love Song - Stone Temple Pilots
Drops Of Jupiter - Train
Fiery Crash - Andrew Bird
Free Your Mind - En Vogue
Black Gold - Soul Asylum
Sooner Or Later - Michael Tolcher
Golden Years - David Bowie
Speed Of Sound - Coldplay
I Saw The Light - Todd Rundgren
Over My Head (Cable Car) - The Fray
Fortress Around Your Heart - Sting
Little Wing - Jimi Hendrix
When You Were Young - The Killers
Miss Independent - Kelly Clarkson
Certain Kinda Girl - The Producers
The Boys Of Summer - Don Henley
Better Man – Pearl Jam
Thunder Road - Bruce Springsteen
Us And Them - Pink Floyd
Somewhere Only We Know - Keane
Jane - Jefferson Starship
Size Of Sorrow - Tears For Fears
Feel The Pain - Dinosaur Jr.
She Will Be Loved - Maroon 5
Word Up - Cameo
Won't Get Fooled Again - The Who
Talk - Coldplay
Me and Mia - Ted Leo & the Pharmacists
Fat Bottomed Girls - Queen
Bleed to Love Her - Fleetwood Mac
It's A Motherfucker - Eels
Over The Hills And Far Away - Led Zeppelin
Reap The Wild Wind - Ultravox
Learn To Fly - Foo Fighters
Good - Better Than Ezra
Magic - The Cars
London Calling - The Clash
It's Tricky - Run DMC
Novocaine For The Soul - Eels
She Sheila - The Producers
The Birth and Death of The Day - Explosions In The Sky
Look After You - The Fray
Cannonball - The Breeders
For Once In My Life - Stevie Wonder
Next Year - Foo Fighters
Meteor Shower - Rhett Miller
Tenderness - General Public
You're So Damn Hot - Ok Go
Let It Whip - Dazz Band
Bushfire - The B-52’s
All For You - Sister Hazel
Stacy's Mom - Fountains Of Wayne
Taper Jean Girl - Kings of Leon
Sweet Emotion - Aerosmith
Half A World Away - R.E.M.
If It Takes A Lifetime - Cheap Trick
The Spirit of Radio - Rush
Alive - Pearl Jam
There She Goes - Sixpence None The Richer
American Idiot - Green Day
I Take My Chances - Mary Chapin Carpenter
Every Word Means No - Let’s Active
Highway To Hell - AC/DC
How's It Going To Be - Third Eye Blind
Main Offender - The Hives
It's All I Can Do - The Cars
Summer Of '69 - Bryan Adams
Deep Inside Of You - Third Eye Blind
Break It Down Again - Tears For Fears
Looking At The World From The Bottom Of A Well - Mike Doughty
New Moon On Monday - Duran Duran
September - Earth Wind & Fire
This Modern Love - Bloc Party
You're So Damn Hot - Ok Go
Tupelo Honey - Van Morrison
I Fought The Law – Green Day
Hey Hey What Can I Do - Led Zeppelin
You Just Haven't Earned It Yet - Kirsty Maccoll
Yellow - Coldplay
Holdin` You - Gretchen Wilson
If You Don't Love Me (I'll Kill Myself) - Pete Droge
Calling All Angels - Train
Bankrobber - The Clash
All Because Of You - U2
Easier To Lie - Aqualung
You Don’t Know Me - Ray Charles
Am I Wrong - Love Spit Love
Fix You - Coldplay
Awful – Hole
Steady As She Goes - The Raconteurs
Galileo - Indigo Girls
Wild Thing - Sister Carol
Blue Eyes - Elton John
Woman In Chains - Tears For Fears
All The Small Things – Blink 182
Just What I Needed - The Cars
Don`t Dream It`s Over - Crowded House
Burden In My Hand - Soundgarden
Something About You - Level 42
Bittersweet Me - R.E.M.
These Early Days - Everything But The Girl
I`ll Be - Edwin McCain
Wasted Time - The Eagles
Into Your Arms - The Lemonheads
Wide Open Spaces - Dixie Chicks
Jungleland - Bruce Springsteen
Sing A Song - The Carpenters
Close To You - The Carpenters
I Think I'm Paranoid - Garbage
Peace of Mind - Boston
Honky Tonk Women – The Rolling Stones
Ordinary World - Duran Duran
Landslide - Dixie Chicks
New Kid In Town - The Eagles
Stay By Me - Annie Lennox
Fall On Me - R.E.M.
Breathe (2 AM) - Anna Nalick
Ramble On - Led Zeppelin
Red Light Indicates Doors Are Closing - Arctic Monkeys
Sunny Came Home - Shawn Colvin
A Lucky Guy - Rickie Lee Jones
Polyester Bride - Liz Phair
Last Nite - The Strokes
All Kinds Of Time - Fountains Of Wayne
Chariot - Gavin DeGraw
Flagpole Sitta - Harvey Danger
Dream Police - Cheap Trick
Your Bright Baby Blues - Jackson Browne
Wolves, Lower - R.E.M.
No Excuses – Alice In Chains
Right Here, Right Now - Jesus Jones
Shine On You Crazy Diamond – Pink Floyd
Don't Stop Believin' - Journey
Since U Been Gone - Kelly Clarkson
My Own Worst Enemy - Lit
Whenever You're On My Mind - Marshall Crenshaw
I Wanna Be Sedated - The Ramones
Beast of Burden – The Rolling Stones
Sister Christian - Night Ranger
5:15 – The Who
Absolutely (Story Of A Girl) - Nine Days
Comfortably Numb - Pink Floyd
Hella Good - No Doubt
Uncle Alvarez - Liz Phair
The Hardest Part - Coldplay
1979 - Smashing Pumpkins
At My Most Beautiful - R.E.M.
Why Should I Cry For You - Sting
Louisiana 1927 - Randy Newman
Avalon - Roxy Music
Devil With The Green Eyes - Matthew Sweet
I Can`t Make You Love Me - Bonnie Raitt
Laundry - Say Hi To Your Mom
So Lonely - The Police
Walk On The Ocean - Toad the Wet Sprocket
Breathe Me - Sia
Today - Smashing Pumpkins
Sometimes You Can`t Make It On Your Own - U2
Baba O'Riley - The Who
Pulling Mussels (From The Shell) - Squeeze
I Wanna Rock n Roll All Night - KISS
The Sea Refuses No River - Pete Townshend
Gaucho - Steely Dan
All This Time - Sting
Take The Long Way Home - Supertramp
Kite - U2
Strange Currencies - R.E.M.
What She Does To Me - The Producers
Somebody To Love - Queen
Sunny Came Home - Shawn Colvin
Sooner Or Later - Michael Tolcher
Believe What You're Saying - Sugar
Love Reign O’er Me – The Who
Svefn G Englar - Sigur Ros
Madman Across The Water - Elton John
Runaway Train - Soul Asylum
You Shook Me All Night Long - AC/DC
Save Me - Aimee Mann
Three Little Birds - Bob Marley & The Wailers
Under Pressure - Queen & David Bowie

Friday, April 27, 2007

Hottest babes of 2007


From FHM magazine. Their list needed a little help.

1.Jessica Alba

2.Katharine McPhee

3.Scarlett Johansson

4.Gisele Bündchen

5.Alessandra Ambrosio

6.Jessica Biel

7.Adriana Lima

7.5 Irene Ryan

8.Angelina Jolie

9.Keira Knightley

10.Marisa Miller

11.Maria Sharapova

12.Mayra Veronica

13.Kate Beckinsale

13.5 Britney Spears

14.Jennifer Love Hewitt

15.Jessica Simpson

16.Halle Berry

16.5 Sandra Bernhard


17.Elisha Cuthbert

18.Salma Hayek

19.Eva Longoria

20.Erica Durance

21.Christina Aguilera

22.Carmen Electra

23.Vida Guerra

24.Mandy Moore

25.Beyoncé Knowles

26.Eva Mendes

26.5 Kirsten "Snagglepuss" Dunst

27.Alyssa Milano

28.Shakira

29.Leeann Tweeden

30.Charlize Theron

31.Natalie Portman

32.Katherine Heigl

33.Brooke Burke

34.Rachel McAdams

35.Evangeline Lilly

36.Jennifer Aniston

37.Jenna Jameson

38.Penelope Cruz

39.Hilary Duff

39.5 Ann "Momma" Ramsey



40.Jennifer Lopez

41.Lindsay Lohan

42.Jenny McCarthy

43.Torrie Wilson

44.Fergie

45.Mariah Carey

46.Heidi Klum

47.Kristin Kreuk

48.Kristin Cavallari

49.Reese Witherspoon

50.Jaime Pressly

51.Morgan Webb

52.Lucy Liu

53.Jennifer Garner

54.Sarah Michelle Gellar

55.Vanessa Marcil

55.5 Bea Arthur

56.Shania Twain

57.Petra Nemcova

58.Gwen Stefani

59.Tera Patrick

59.5 Anna Nicole Smith

60.Keeley Hazell

61.Anne Hathaway

62.Cameron Diaz

63.Tricia Helfer

64.Pamela Anderson

65.Megan Fox

66.Kate Bosworth

67.Paris Hilton

68.Catherine Zeta-Jones

69.Kari Byron

70.Elizabeth Hurley

70.5 Tyne Daly

71.Kate Walsh

72.Nicole Kidman

73.Teri Hatcher

74.Amanda Beard

75.Olivia Wilde

76.Beth Ostrosky

77.Victoria Silvstedt

78.Amy Smart

79.Amanda Bynes

80.Lacey Chabert

81.Ana Beatriz Barros

82.Heather Graham

83.Uma Thurman

84.Natalie Gulbis

84.5 Whitney Houston

85.Danica Patrick

86.Josie Maran

87.Sienna Miller

88.Rachel Bilson

89.Sophia Bush

90.Kate Hudson

91.Faith Hill

92.Rachelle Leah

93.Naomi Watts

93.5 Linda Hunt

94.Mischa Barton

95.Kristanna Loken

96.Kelly Clarkson

97.Christina Milian

98.Denise Richards

99.Kelly Ripa

100.Ali Larter

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

What Will Become of Rosie?

Tragic news: Rosie O'Donnell has left that show nobody watches, "The View." No one knows where Ol' Crustycrotch will end up, but I'm hoping it's one of these. (Hey, I never claimed to be good at Photoshop.)

Montana



Kenya



Back in the forest



Don's Meat Packing




Leather4Less

Hints For A Better Life

FCC rules and the terms of my probation mandate that this blog be helpful at least one day per millennium. Therefore, I bring you these handy household hints someone e-mailed to me. I have no idea if they work or not.

Reheat Pizza
Heat up leftover pizza in a non-stick skillet on top of the stove, set heat to med-low and hea till warm. This keeps the crust crispy. No soggy micro pizza.

Easy Deviled Eggs
Put cooked egg yolks in a zip lock bag. Seal, mash till they are all broken up. Add remainder of ingredients, reseal, keep mashing it up mixing thoroughly, cut the tip of the baggy, squeeze mixture into egg white. Just throw bag away when done easy clean up.

Expanding Frosting
When you buy a container of cake frosting from the store, whip it with your mixer for a few minutes. You can double it in size. You get to frost more cake/cupcakes with the same amount. You also eat less sugar/calories per serving, plus you get a nice fluffy frosting..

Reheating refrigerated bread
To warm biscuits, pancakes, or muffins that were refrigerated, place them in a microwave with a cup of water. The increased moisture will keep the food moist and help it reheat faster.

Newspaper weeds away
Start putting in your plants, work the nutrients in your soil. Soak newspapers. Put layers of wet papers around the plants, overlapping as you go. Cover with mulch and forget about weeds. Weeds will get through some gardening plastic, but they will not get through wet newspapers.

Broken Glass
Use a dry cotton ball to pick up little broken glass pieces. The fibers catch ones you can't see.

No More Mosquitoes
Place a dryer sheet in your pocket. It will keep the mosquitoes away.

Squirrel Away!
To keep squirrels from eating your plants, sprinkle your plants with cayenne pepper. The cayenne pepper doesn't hurt the plant and the squirrels won't come near it.

Easier thank-you's
When you throw a bridal / baby shower, buy a pack of thank you cards for the guest of honor. During the party, pass out the envelopes and have everyone put their address on one. When the bride / new mom sends the thank-you's, they're all pre-addressed!

Protect your bike
If you purchase a new bike for your child, place their picture inside the handlebar before placing the grips on. If the bike is stolen and later recovered, remove the grip and there is your proof as to who owns the bike.

Flexible vacuum
To get something out of a heat register or under the fridge, add an empty paper towel roll or empty gift wrap roll to your vacuum. It can be bent or flattened to get into narrow openings.

Reducing Static Cling
Pin a small safety pin to the seam of your slip and you will not have a clingy skirt or dress. Same thing works with slacks that cling when wearing panty hose. Place pin in seam of slacks and static is gone.

Measuring Cups
Before you pour sticky substances into a measuring cup, fill it with hot water. Dump out the hot water, but don't dry the cup. Next, add your ingredient, such as peanut butter, and watch how easily it comes right out.

Foggy Windshield?
Hate foggy windshields? Buy a chalkboard eraser and keep it in the glove compartment of your car. When the windows fog up, rub them with the eraser! Works better than a cloth!

Reopening Envelope
If you seal an envelope and then realize you forgot to include something inside, just place your sealed envelope in the freezer for an hour or two. It unseals easily.

Conditioner Shaving Cream
Use your hair conditioner to shave your legs (or ass). It's a lot cheaper than shaving cream and leaves your legs really smooth. It's also a great way to use up the conditioner you bought but didn't like when you tried it in your hair...

Goodbye Fruit Flies
To get rid of pesky fruit flies, take a small glass, fill it 1/2" with Apple Cider Vinegar and 2 drops of dishwashing liquid, mix well. You will find those flies drawn to the cup and gone forever!

Get Rid of Ants
Put small piles of cornmeal where you see ants. They eat it, take it "home," & can't digest, it so it kills them. It may take a week or so, especially if it rains, but it works & you don't have to worry about pets or small children being harmed!

Beach Sand
Take baby powder to the beach. Keep a small bottle of baby powder in your beach bag. When you're ready to leave the beach, sprinkle yourself and kids with the powder and the sand will slide right off your skin.


Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Great moments in local news


I can't stand local news, so this kinda stuff makes me giggle like a stoned 15-year-old.


Just Trying To Work Here (probably staged but we'll pretend it isn't)



Lights, Camera, Concussion



Psycho Kitty 1



Put That On the News, Bitch!



Now You Know How Snowplows Work



Reporter Beat Down



Might Wanna Duck



Drink much?



Questions not to ask a wrestler



Busted! (probably fake, but funny)



A classic: Leprechaun Sighting (I would never have known that sketch was done by an amateur)



Psycho Cat 2: Pinky (ancient, but on the off chance someone has not seen it yet)...




Grape Stomp Face Plant (an internet classic, and the mother of all local news bloopers)

Sunday, April 22, 2007

Sniff Out The Asses

Today I bring you a quiz. Can you guess which celebs below are cool and which are asses? I got the straight dope from reliable sources. See how many you can guess.

Answers HERE

Tom Hanks

Donald Sutherland

Clint Eastwood

Bill Cosby

Ed Asner

Whitney Houston

Gary Sinise

Philip Baker Hall

Ed Begley, Jr.

Andy Griffith

Anthony Edwards

Barry Bostwick

Sid Caesar

Steve Carrell

Jackie Chan

Don Cheadle

George Clooney

Gary Busey

Rachel McAdams

Ted Danson

Reese Witherspoon

Michael Dorn

Kirk Douglas

Sean Penn

Charles Durning

Nathan Fillion

Peter Fonda

Morgan Fairchild

Morgan Freeman

Jennifer Garner
Val Kilmer

Ashton Kutcher
Tim Matheson
Michael Landon

Patty Duke

Whoopi Goldberg

Harry Anderson

Johnny Depp

Brad Garrett

Melissa Gilbert

Jennifer Aniston

Mark Hamill

Chris Tucker

Darryl Hannah

Jill Hennessy

Connie Selleca

Barbara Hershey

Robert Altman

Ron Howard

Jon Voight

Bonnie Hunt

Michael J. Fox

Russell Crowe

Fred Willard

Hugh Jackman

Robin Williams

Gene Kelly

Nicole Kidman

Robert Duvall

Tim Curry

Henry Winkler

B.B. King

John Ritter

John Larroquette

Heather Locklear

Curtis Armstrong

Wendie Malick

Luther Vandross

Noah Wyle

Alec Baldwin (this one should be easy)

Mark Harmon

Dean Martin

Ian Ziering

Steve Martin

Ben Stiller

Dave Matthews

Joe Pantoliano

Brett Butler (sitcom actress, not the baseball player)

Malcolm McDowell

Chris Noth

Weird Al Yankovich

Maria Menounos

Jerry Van Dyke

Drew Carey

Jerry Orbach

Demi Moore

Clive Owen

Denzel Washington

Roseanne Barr

Camryn Manheim

Robert Redford

Carl Reiner

Keifer Sutherland

Kurt Russell

George Segal

Tony Shalhoub
Ray Romano

Vicki Lawrence

Elijah Wood

Molly Shannon

Martin Short

Cheech Marin

Dean Cain

Jean Smart

Tim Matheson

Patricia Heaton

John Travolta

Will Smith

They Might Be Giants

Tony Curtis

Charlie Sheen


Friday, April 20, 2007

Jumping the Shark


We just had a discussion at work about when various TV shows jumped the shark (click for definition), and these are our conclusions.

Happy Days
- when Fonzie jumped the shark - DUH!
Buffy The Vampire Slayer - moved to UPN
Friends - Monica and Chandler got together, or when Rachel got pregnant
ER - A fire/tank/helicopter/deadly virus/radiation leak/blackout threatens the ER
Charlie's Angels - Sabrina (Kate Jackson) replaced by Tiffany (Shelley Hack)
Dallas - it was all a bad dream
Fresh Prince - Vivian inexplicably becomes someone else
The Sopranos - Uncle Junior sings - blehhh
The Brady Bunch - Cousin Oliver. Turns out he was a jinx after all.
Roseanne - wins the lottery
Saved By The Bell - leather-clad Tori
Bewitched - Darrin #2
The Andy Griffith Show - color
Laverne & Shirley - moved to California
I Love Lucy - moved to California
All In The Family - Archie's niece Stephanie
The Cosby Show - Olivia (Raven Symone)
Moonlighting - Dave and Maddie hooked up
Cheers - Diane replaced by Rebecca
24 - Dennis Hopper shows up as one of the bad guys (Season One)
Growing Pains - homeless teen Luke (Leo Dicaprio)
Good Times - James dies
Three's Company - Furley replaced Mr. Roper
Family Ties - new sibling Andrew born
Married With Children - adopted Seven
The OC - once everyone on the show had had sex with everyone else
Melrose Place - Kimberly resurrected as a scarred-up, brain-damaged, wig-wearing psycho
NewsRadio - Jon Lovitz replaced Phil Hartman
90210 - Brenda leaves to study abroad
Lost - Nikki and Paolo start having dialogue
Mary Tyler Moore Show - Mary moves to a new swingin' 70s apartment
Alf - Episode 1
Mork & Mindy - Mearth (Jonathan Winters)
Seinfeld - never jumped
Newhart - never jumped

Agree/disagree? Got any shows to add? HIT ME.

What about these shows - have they jumped? If so, when?


Grey's Anatomy?
The Office?
Nip/Tuck?
My Name Is Earl?
The Simpsons?
The Gilmore Girls?
According to Jim?
Scrubs?
House?
Desperate Housewives?
King of the Hill?
Three And A Half Men?
COPS?

Thursday, April 19, 2007

One Letter Off

Change one letter in a title and get a whole new movie. A Photoshop contest from Worth1000.com.



























Top 25 Guilty Pleasure Bands

From Rolling Stone

1. Rush
2. E.L.O.
3. Journey
4. ABBA
5. Chicago
6. Boston
7. Foreigner
8. Bread
9. Bon Jovi
10. New Edition
11. The Monkees
12. Motley Crue
13. STYX
14. Eddie Money
15. Simply Red
16. Kelly Clarkson
17. America
18. Wham
19. R.E.O. Speedwagon
20. Poison
21. Lionel Richie
22. Kansas
23. Air Supply
24. Hall & Oates
25. Britney Spears

Some of their picks are odd. And they forgot Yes, Guns n' Roses,
Michael Jackson, Bad Co., Elton John, Toto, Billy Joel, AC/DC, Depeche Mode, The Grateful Dead.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Music vids you need to see


Most of these have been around for a while but watch them again, bitches!

Journey - Five guys and not one of them questioned this concept?

Tommy Seebach Band - They are Danes. That's all you need to know.

Dr. Hook - Baby needs to make her blue jeans run like hell from these two dudes on their way to "Midnight Cowboy" auditions.

David Hasselhoff - "Want some candy, little girls?"

David Hasselhoff, even worse - I bet there was a lot of high-fiving in the edit session when this loaf was done.

Lionel Richie - Lionel and his Fro-mullet stalk a blind woman -- baby steps, I guess -- but she gets him back in the end via bad sculpture. PWN3D! That's what he gets for singing, "Is it me you're looking for?" to a blind woman.

Unnamed band - A dog peeing on another dog's poop.

The song titles

In response to thousands of requests for the names of the songs linked on Sunday's page....

The Producers - "What's He Got?" (The Producers, 1981)

Steve Forbert - "Romeo's Tune" (Jackrabbit Slim, 1979)

General Public - "Tenderness"(All The Rage, 1984)

Everything But The Girl - "Apron Strings" ("She's Having A Baby" movie soundtrack, 1988)

Squeeze - "Another Nail From My Heart" (Argybargy, 1980)

Marshall Crenshaw - "Whenever You're On My Mind" (Field Day, 1983)

Trio - "Da Da Da ich lieb dich nicht du liebst mich nicht aha aha aha" ("Da Da Da I Don't Love You You Don't Love Me Aha Aha Aha") (Trio, 1980)

World Party - "Ship of Fools" (Private Revolution, 1986)

Haircut 100 - "Love Plus One" (Pelican West, 1982)

The Church - "Under The Milky Way Tonight" (Starfish, 1988)

Guadalcanal Diary - "Watusi Rodeo" (Walking In The Shadow Of The Big Man, 1984)

The English Beat- "Save It For Later" (Special Beat Service, 1982)

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Celebs behaving badly

Audio recordings of famous people being little bitches. Most of these have been around for years, but if you haven't heard them yet, you're in for a treat.

Rated R for hilariously foul language.


Jack Palance loves doing voiceover


So does William Shatner


Britney Spears waits in vain for an intro so she can take the stage, and unwittingly broadcasts her displeasure over her headphone mic to the crowd. Ohmigod!!!


Cher shares some feelings with paparazzi - and who can blame her?


Crusty old forgotten singer Paul Anka with a wardobe suggestion for his band, and some valuable tips on flying, too!


A classic - Orson Welles peddling fish sticks and hamburgers. I played Lear, goddamn you!!


And best of all - Casey Kasem - in a very special long-distance dedication. Dear Casey: lay off the blow, huh?

Monday, April 16, 2007

LOTD: Top 10 Most Expensive Celebrity Divorces

From Forbes magazine

Brought to you by:



And by....



1. Michael Jordan - $150+ mil (estimated; divorce not yet final)
2. Neil Diamond - $150 mil (1996 divorce from Marcia Murphey). That much money talks, sings, dances, and walks.
3. Steven Spielberg - $100 mil (1989 divorce from Amy Irving)
4. Harrison Ford - $85 mil (to ex Melissa Mathison in 2004)
5. Kevin Costner - $80 mil (to ex Cindy Silva in 1994).
6. Paul McCartney - $60 mil to soon-to-be-ex Heather Mills (estimated)
7. James Cameron - $50 (to fourth wife, actress Linda Hamilton, in 1999). King of the world!
8. Michael Douglas - $45 mil (to first wife Diandra, 2000). Greed is good.
9. Lionel Richie - $20 mil (to second wife Diane). She even got the house with all the footprints on the ceiling.
10. Mick Jagger - $15 to $25 mil (to ex Jerry Hall, 1990).

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